We are about 6 months into Finn’s kindergarten year, his first year of homeschooling, and he’s made some really great progress. I’ve been employing the constructivist math techniques that I gained from my Kamii class and which has been affirmed in by my study of classical christian education. Finn is now able to solve addition, subtraction, and simple multiplication word problems… sometimes in his head and other times by drawing pictures with a pencil and paper. He’s just beginning to “count on” when adding numbers occasionally, and he’s beginning to be able to think a little more abstractly with numbers in his head. This morning I asked him how many 6’s are in 18, and after thinking for a few seconds a big smile grew on his face and he said, “there’s three! Because there’s two nines in eighteen with one six in each of the nines and another in the middle from the two threes.” This made both he and I quite proud.
Every once in a while I write out an equation such as “7 + 9 = ?” so that he is reminded of how we write problems in math language, and he understand and can solve them. We practice counting forward and backward most days and sometimes we practice counting by 2s. Finn especially enjoys problems such as “how many 4s are in 16?” He’ll often use his counting chips to figure these problems out, though he’s beginning to remember many of them. He sometimes asks me such division problems at random times in the day, attempting to stump me with large numbers.
I’m more and more convinced that focusing primarily on word problems as long as possible is the way to go. I just need to find the curricula and books to keep me going!
- Laura
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Friday, July 19, 2019
My Vision for Cusco
I love the movie, Greatest Showman. The music, the dancing, the acrobatics, and the passion driving it all. Watching that movie makes me want to go into the performing arts. In another lifetime I could even see myself doing that. There are so many different forms of artistic expression that I could imagine throwing myself into and delighting in it—dancing, figure skating, acting, singing, composing, playing the violin, acrobatics, painting, writing… were I granted 10 different lifetimes I think I would dedicate one to each of them. On this earth we’re so hedged in by circumstances, time, resources, physical ability… but in my minds eye I see a day in which those limitations will all be thrown off and we will finally each be free to fully express the beauty and joy and delight of creative expression bestowed on us by a loving Father—to not only experience incredible passion but also to express it fully to the great pleasure of our creator. On that day I will do all of those things and excel at them! I will live up to all of my potential merely to show off the creative genius of He who made me, and it will be pure bliss.
On this earth I’m thankful for little tastes of the glory I was created for. When I see great passion in a fellow human I am drawn to their craft. When someone shares the zeal that drives them I find myself wanting to know more, to experience the vigor myself. The best teachers are not those who are most knowledgeable about their craft, but those who are most passionate about it—because passion is contagious, and once caught it fuels both learning and action.
I do look forward to the day when I will express the passion of my heavenly Father in perfect measure and innocence, but on this earth I choose to do that in a few feeble, sin-corrupted ways, because He assures us that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will seek to take small steps of faith—to do the uncomfortable things that His word calls me to. I will seek to live as though “The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty [does] rule over all,”(Psalm 103:19).
Jesus tells us that ”the kingdom of heaven is at hand”(Matthew 4:17), yet when I think about the brokenness of the city He has called me to, it is difficult to recognize. God’s word also instructs us to “walk by faith, not by sight“(2 Corinthians 5:7), and Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
So in faith I envision God’s kingdom settling on Cusco.
I envision faithful subjects being raised up in service of the King who, like Daniel of the Bible, have God-given learning and skill in all literature and wisdom (Daniel 1:17). Daniel and his friends found themselves in a godless society, yet we read that “in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king inquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom” (verse 20).
I envision Cusceñans who, like Timothy, “from childhood have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus…” and are “complete, equipped for every good work” (2Timothy 3:15-17).
I envision a school that not only equips their students in these ways, but also helps parents learn to “train up a child in the way he should go [so that] even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
This, I believe, is the God-given passion that I must steward for now in this lifetime. So as difficult and beyond me as this vision seems to be, I will choose to live by faith and not by sight, slowly taking baby steps and fixing my eyes on invisible kingdom that is coming.
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day… as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:16 & 18
- Laura Dougherty
On this earth I’m thankful for little tastes of the glory I was created for. When I see great passion in a fellow human I am drawn to their craft. When someone shares the zeal that drives them I find myself wanting to know more, to experience the vigor myself. The best teachers are not those who are most knowledgeable about their craft, but those who are most passionate about it—because passion is contagious, and once caught it fuels both learning and action.
I do look forward to the day when I will express the passion of my heavenly Father in perfect measure and innocence, but on this earth I choose to do that in a few feeble, sin-corrupted ways, because He assures us that “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I will seek to take small steps of faith—to do the uncomfortable things that His word calls me to. I will seek to live as though “The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty [does] rule over all,”(Psalm 103:19).
Jesus tells us that ”the kingdom of heaven is at hand”(Matthew 4:17), yet when I think about the brokenness of the city He has called me to, it is difficult to recognize. God’s word also instructs us to “walk by faith, not by sight“(2 Corinthians 5:7), and Jesus Himself said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
So in faith I envision God’s kingdom settling on Cusco.
I envision faithful subjects being raised up in service of the King who, like Daniel of the Bible, have God-given learning and skill in all literature and wisdom (Daniel 1:17). Daniel and his friends found themselves in a godless society, yet we read that “in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king inquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom” (verse 20).
I envision Cusceñans who, like Timothy, “from childhood have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus…” and are “complete, equipped for every good work” (2Timothy 3:15-17).
I envision a school that not only equips their students in these ways, but also helps parents learn to “train up a child in the way he should go [so that] even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
This, I believe, is the God-given passion that I must steward for now in this lifetime. So as difficult and beyond me as this vision seems to be, I will choose to live by faith and not by sight, slowly taking baby steps and fixing my eyes on invisible kingdom that is coming.
“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day… as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:16 & 18
- Laura Dougherty
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
First Quarter of Homeschool with Finn
We're now a couple months into Finn's first year of doing school at home with me. He turned 5 in February and we decided to homeschool him for Kindergarten instead of re-enrolling him at his preschool this year (the Peruvian school year starts in March). I went back and forth about this decision ever since arriving back in Peru last May. He struggled greatly for his first couple of months back at Peruvian preschool, but then things seemed to get better, and it was SUCH a freeing thing for me to be able to focus on ministry things while Skye was napping in the morning. It seemed like his Spanish was improving too. Ultimately, though, we decided in late fall that his character was not being helped any by the lack of structure and discipline at his preschool, and we felt like the frequency of discipline at home was lessened over school breaks when he was just at home.
I am confident now that we made the right decision. It has certainly required more of me in the mornings to homeschool him, but I think it has been a very positive thing. Finn's behavior and responsiveness to correction has improved dramatically. His Spanish learning has probably slowed down some, though we do have a Peruvian teacher friend work with him 3 mornings a week on Spanish. Finn is learning so much in the hour and a half that we spend doing school (during Skye's morning nap). He has really taken to math magnificently doing addition and subtraction in is head fairly fluidly already. This week I introduced money and he LOVES it. I've only introduced pennies, nickels, and dimes so far, but he is able to exchange them and give me the correct amount to pay for imaginary items. He's beginning to be able to play the role of the cashier and give me correct change when I pay too much for something as well.
He now knows the days of the week in English (starting to learn them in Spanish), has a basic understanding of the calendar and the clock, and is also learning how numbers past 10 work due to our calendar work. We're working on reading very slowly as well. It's not something that has come very naturally to Finn like math has, but he's slowly improving. He always groans a bit when I get our reading curriculum out, but I keep the lessons very short, and have learned to keep it light and simple for him. I figure a little practice every day will eventually result in reading success. As much as I long for him to be able to read and enjoy reading, I'm also aware that it make take him a while, and the greatest risk at this point is for me to push him too much and cause him to have negative associations with reading. This requires a lot of patience of me!
We've also been doing the Five In a Row curriculum where we read a picture book for 5 days (actually we're just doing 4 days) in a row and discuss the geography, math, science, music, etc. that can be learned from the book. Finn has really enjoyed this and is learned SO SO much from these books. This week we're reading "The Glorious Flight," by Alice and Martin Provensen, and Finn has enjoyed learning about the invention of the airplane. We've talked about what inventors do and how they must have much perseverance. We also watched some Youtube videos today about how airplanes work, and Finn was quite fascinated. We enjoyed trying out our own paper airplane afterward.
So... I've really enjoyed planning and doing Kindergarten with Finn. It's been a fun way for me to connect with him besides just playing legos and Uno. I've been encouraged that he has gone along with school pretty well for the most part, and even seems to enjoy it most of the time.
- Laura
I am confident now that we made the right decision. It has certainly required more of me in the mornings to homeschool him, but I think it has been a very positive thing. Finn's behavior and responsiveness to correction has improved dramatically. His Spanish learning has probably slowed down some, though we do have a Peruvian teacher friend work with him 3 mornings a week on Spanish. Finn is learning so much in the hour and a half that we spend doing school (during Skye's morning nap). He has really taken to math magnificently doing addition and subtraction in is head fairly fluidly already. This week I introduced money and he LOVES it. I've only introduced pennies, nickels, and dimes so far, but he is able to exchange them and give me the correct amount to pay for imaginary items. He's beginning to be able to play the role of the cashier and give me correct change when I pay too much for something as well.
He now knows the days of the week in English (starting to learn them in Spanish), has a basic understanding of the calendar and the clock, and is also learning how numbers past 10 work due to our calendar work. We're working on reading very slowly as well. It's not something that has come very naturally to Finn like math has, but he's slowly improving. He always groans a bit when I get our reading curriculum out, but I keep the lessons very short, and have learned to keep it light and simple for him. I figure a little practice every day will eventually result in reading success. As much as I long for him to be able to read and enjoy reading, I'm also aware that it make take him a while, and the greatest risk at this point is for me to push him too much and cause him to have negative associations with reading. This requires a lot of patience of me!
We've also been doing the Five In a Row curriculum where we read a picture book for 5 days (actually we're just doing 4 days) in a row and discuss the geography, math, science, music, etc. that can be learned from the book. Finn has really enjoyed this and is learned SO SO much from these books. This week we're reading "The Glorious Flight," by Alice and Martin Provensen, and Finn has enjoyed learning about the invention of the airplane. We've talked about what inventors do and how they must have much perseverance. We also watched some Youtube videos today about how airplanes work, and Finn was quite fascinated. We enjoyed trying out our own paper airplane afterward.
So... I've really enjoyed planning and doing Kindergarten with Finn. It's been a fun way for me to connect with him besides just playing legos and Uno. I've been encouraged that he has gone along with school pretty well for the most part, and even seems to enjoy it most of the time.
- Laura
Sunday, April 14, 2019
Classical Christian Education and Elementary Math
In the past 5 years I’ve realized more and more that I love learning about education philosophy, and theorizing about better ways of educating. After the math education course I took at UAB for my masters, elementary math education is something that I’ve become passionate about, as this course completely shifted my view of how math ought to be introduced and taught to children. I’ve blogged about this some already here and here.
Another big theme in my educational learning over the past several years has been studying the Charlotte Mason method and subsequently the Classical method of Christian education. Some key components of these philosophies that I resonate with are the following ideas:
Today I have been wondering about whether the things I’ve learned about math education fit within the classical model of education. I haven’t come across a lot of information on how classical education is fleshed out in elementary mathematics other than the general idea that that math reflects the order of the universe which shows us God’s character and ought to make us wonder at His design. I think, though, that the things I have learned about elementary math education actually do fall right in line with the principals behind classical education—the principals stated above. I think these two streams of educational thought that I’ve been mulling over for the past several years actually support each other well.
How so?
Well, if we truly believe that children are born with the ability to make sense of the universe and make connections between ideas, then we ought to encourage this, and in the area of mathematics this means giving them support and opportunities to make connections while refraining from attempting to always make those connections for them. This requires a lot of patience on the part of teachers, because it is so tempting to give our students the algorithm to figure something out, but when we do this we’ve cheated them of the opportunity to discover how the numbers work together on their own. We must have faith in the principal that children will discover and make connections, and use our class time and creativity as teachers to provide engaging and stimulating activities in which the children can discover.
When children are given the time and encouragement to work with numbers in a variety of activities, they will not only come to enjoy the logic to the way God created the universe, but also grow in confidence regarding their ability to discover and think deeply about things. In my masters course I saw many examples of children doing large sums in their heads quite quickly and joyfully because this mental math had been encouraged from early in their education and it had never occurred to them that it wasn’t fun. I think often when a child has come to the conclusion that they are bad at math or that they dislike math, it is a result of having been pushed to do problems using algorithms that they didn’t understand. When math is pushed on someone like this, rather than discovered, it becomes a chore… and not just any chore, but a chore that feels pointless.
When we push young children to do rote sums that they're are not ready for, this encourages a disdain for “learning,” because they in fact are not learning, but merely performing. If we want to grow human beings who are purposeful and who care about the things they do, then we must not inhibit their innate sense of mathematics by giving them algorithms that they do not understand. On the contrary, we must provide them with age appropriate real-life problems that they can figure out on their own either by developing their own algorithm, or by drawing their own diagram, or counting on their fingers, or whatever means they arrive at on their own.
As for the fourth point above, I think that, as in every subject, there is great value in introducing our students to living books—true stories in which people use the discipline at hand (in this case, math). Children should regularly be exposed to real life situations in which math is used—both in their own lives and classroom activities, and also in books (both modern and ancient). These living math encounters will add to their understanding and wonder regarding the way math applies to all of life and points us to an orderly Creator.
- Laura
Another big theme in my educational learning over the past several years has been studying the Charlotte Mason method and subsequently the Classical method of Christian education. Some key components of these philosophies that I resonate with are the following ideas:
- Children are born human beings with the capability to make sense of the universe and make connections between ideas and truths discovered.
- The world, as God designed it, makes sense and ought to be studied for the sake of knowing Him better. Education is largely the cultivation of wonder.
- The aim of education ought not only be to create knowledgeable human beings, but human beings with virtue—human beings who care. If we merely educate students to understand the world but not to care about using this knowledge to glorify God, then we have failed.
- In order to grow in knowledge, wisdom, and virtue, we must study not only the world and humanity as it exists today, but we must study the world and humanity of ages past—this is best done by studying the significant works produced by the deep thinkers of ages past.
Today I have been wondering about whether the things I’ve learned about math education fit within the classical model of education. I haven’t come across a lot of information on how classical education is fleshed out in elementary mathematics other than the general idea that that math reflects the order of the universe which shows us God’s character and ought to make us wonder at His design. I think, though, that the things I have learned about elementary math education actually do fall right in line with the principals behind classical education—the principals stated above. I think these two streams of educational thought that I’ve been mulling over for the past several years actually support each other well.
How so?
Well, if we truly believe that children are born with the ability to make sense of the universe and make connections between ideas, then we ought to encourage this, and in the area of mathematics this means giving them support and opportunities to make connections while refraining from attempting to always make those connections for them. This requires a lot of patience on the part of teachers, because it is so tempting to give our students the algorithm to figure something out, but when we do this we’ve cheated them of the opportunity to discover how the numbers work together on their own. We must have faith in the principal that children will discover and make connections, and use our class time and creativity as teachers to provide engaging and stimulating activities in which the children can discover.
When children are given the time and encouragement to work with numbers in a variety of activities, they will not only come to enjoy the logic to the way God created the universe, but also grow in confidence regarding their ability to discover and think deeply about things. In my masters course I saw many examples of children doing large sums in their heads quite quickly and joyfully because this mental math had been encouraged from early in their education and it had never occurred to them that it wasn’t fun. I think often when a child has come to the conclusion that they are bad at math or that they dislike math, it is a result of having been pushed to do problems using algorithms that they didn’t understand. When math is pushed on someone like this, rather than discovered, it becomes a chore… and not just any chore, but a chore that feels pointless.
When we push young children to do rote sums that they're are not ready for, this encourages a disdain for “learning,” because they in fact are not learning, but merely performing. If we want to grow human beings who are purposeful and who care about the things they do, then we must not inhibit their innate sense of mathematics by giving them algorithms that they do not understand. On the contrary, we must provide them with age appropriate real-life problems that they can figure out on their own either by developing their own algorithm, or by drawing their own diagram, or counting on their fingers, or whatever means they arrive at on their own.
As for the fourth point above, I think that, as in every subject, there is great value in introducing our students to living books—true stories in which people use the discipline at hand (in this case, math). Children should regularly be exposed to real life situations in which math is used—both in their own lives and classroom activities, and also in books (both modern and ancient). These living math encounters will add to their understanding and wonder regarding the way math applies to all of life and points us to an orderly Creator.
- Laura
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Missionary Marriages--Not What You Think
3/9/19
I listened to a podcast the other day in which a lady spoke about compatibility in marriage, and how much dying to self is required in marriage, and I realized that so much of what she said would be applicable to foreign missionaries’ relationships with each other. It’s always said that conflict with teammates is one of the chief things that sends missionaries home from the field, and I think that the reasons for this are somewhat of a mystery to the average church-goer and even missions supporter in the US.
Since moving to Peru three years ago I’ve both experienced and observed in others the intense stress of living in a different country, adjusting to a different culture, learning a different language, and assuming a full-time ministry job which may or may not look anything like the job description you signed up for. I’ve seen what a life-line your fellow teammates are to you and I’ve appreciate ours so much. But conflict is inevitable.
When you get married to someone, you learn to rub shoulders with them and all of their flaws on a daily basis. Your dating relationship may have been amazing and easy, but after moving in together, sharing financial responsibility, and having children together, loving that person must often be a choice that required a lot of dying to self. I think that relationships between missionaries are very similar.
A typical missionary heads overseas after raising support to make a difference in the world doing a job that they feel passionate about. They may or may not know the people that they’ll be working alongside very well. The thing is… missionary co-workers are so much more than just co-workers. They are also your neighbors, your kids’ best friends’ parents, your pastor, your kids’ teacher, your doctor. They are also co-parents with you of a ministry that they are every bit as passionate about and are extremely invested in (they too left everything and shipped their family overseas for the sake of this ministry).
Just as so much marital struggle stems from differing parenting styles, so much missionary conflict stems from different philosophies of ministry (and our ministries are in many ways like our babies). When you get married to someone you sign your name to a marriage license and make a verbal agreement based on some rather vague vows. Similarly when you sign up to be a missionary, you may sign a statement of belief and agree that you want to serve alongside said missionary team and help support said ministry. But it’s incredibly possible and even likely to arrive on the field with a set of expectations that are completely different from those of your teammates.
Missionaries come to the field expecting to give up a lot. They expect to get by with a lower standard of living. They expect to go without many conveniences that we are accustomed to in their home country. They expect to miss friends and family terribly. They expect to suffer additional sickness. They expect to deal with emotional struggles in their children as they navigate the new culture/language/friends/school/church. But they also expect that the joy of doing the ministry and seeing the fruit of people’s lives being changed will outweigh the struggles. Now, insert the other white guy who's getting in the way of your ministry success. Maybe he says you're doing it wrong. Or perhaps he refuses to give you the freedom you need to do the work God’s laid on your heart. Or it could be that his personal or family struggles are infringing more and more on your precious ministry time and emotional capacity.
You start to realize that—like a marriage—in order to maintain a healthy relationship with this guy, you’re going to have to devote a lot of time and energy to it--and you’re going to have to give up a lot of your expectations and dreams regarding your ministry. It may start to feel like your life is consumed by maintaining this relationship. And you may start to wonder… is this really what God called me here for?
It may be a little bit like the syndrome that moms experience when they realize they are spending their lives—year in and year out—changing diapers, washing dishes, and putting food in front of people. They hide in the bathroom lamenting the loss of their dreams of business success, or of traveling the world, or of being a fun sporty wife. The thing is, because of the intense love that God has put inside of them for those little people, they will walk out of that bathroom and lovingly confront them and their messes day in and day out. The missionary has been endowed with no such intrinsic love for his co-workers.
The weary mom often has a support network closer at hand than the missionary does too. She may have mom-friends who commiserate with her at the playground. She may even have parents and family members who have been there themselves, and offer to listen or help out from time to time. The missionary, on the other hand, has supporting churches and individuals who are financially invested in their “success” as a missionary. The missionary’s family and friends live plane rides away and may have been confused by or even against their move overseas in the first place. Even when these people are supportive and available, they probably have no understanding of what it’s really like, or what questions to ask--and they often feel unqualified to offer any true counsel or accountability to a missionary.
So what’s the answer? Should missionaries only sign up to serve alongside their close friends—like minded people that they already know well and with whom they share a common vision for ministry? Sadly, I’ve seen that model crash and burn as well. Working together overseas in a high-stakes environment somehow changes a lot of things and brings things to the surface in your relationship (like in a marriage) that you never could have anticipated. Even Paul himself was not immune to this reality (Acts 15).
Missionary agencies often provide member care services to help when there is a crisis. Some even provide some training on conflict management up front for their recruits. Would-be missionaries are told that team relationships can be difficult, and that a lot of patience and grace is needed. We tell young engaged couples these things too. But what actually contributes to a missionary’s ability to last on the field through difficult team conflict?
I wonder if we should take a closer look at what predicts longevity in a marriage? What preparation or mind-sets help a couple to last through thick and thin?
For one thing, I think marriage has to be your top priority. You have to realize that your marriage itself is a ministry that could change the world more than anything else you do--bringing glory to God through sacrificial, covenant love, day in and day out. I think missionaries need to head to the field with this mindset. If team conflict is truly one of the primary things sending people home from the field, then clearly these relationships have to be taken very seriously and are deal breakers when it comes to ministry success. Healthy team relationships are not only vital to keeping missionaries on the field. The reality is that the people we are reaching may be more convinced of our gospel message (or conversely disillusioned by it) based on how they see us interacting with our teammates.
At the last moment before Christ was to be arrested and crucified, He was not to be found out preaching to the lost. He was washing his friends' feet. He told them, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)
As couples approach marriage they often do pre-marital counseling that covers how to manage finances together, how to work together on parenting, how to navigate times with extended family, and how to prioritize having fun together as a couple. We talk people through the logistics of life as a married couple, but the thing that prepared me the most for my marriage was the way our premarital counselor forced us to talk through some tough, personal issues ahead of time. He had us discuss the specific details of our expectations for each other. He exhorted us to begin praying together daily during our engagement. He encouraged us to hash through our own shortcomings and habitual sins, offering unconditional love and forgiveness, and talking through specific plans for how we would walk with our spouse through these struggles. Maybe missionaries should do more of this as they prepare for the field.
Maybe missionary work should have a greater emphasis on ministry through living communally as a missionary team, tackling sin together, praying, and worshiping together. Maybe new missionary recruits should agree to this type of ministry being their top priority with all other ministry goals being secondary. Maybe they should agree to vulnerability with their teammates from the very beginning of their missionary journey regarding sin struggles, and at the same time commit to praying with their teammates through theirs. I realize this is a radical idea.
Another thing that I think we can take away from the marriage metaphor, is the idea that your spouse cannot be everything for you. Obviously our relationship with God must take first priority in our lives, but premarital counselors also advise that each person have other trusted people in their lives who will keep them accountable to personal growth and to working on their marriage as a priority. We all need people who are champions for us in all areas of life and who will ask good questions and empathize with our struggles but also hold us accountable and speak the truth in love. Missionaries have a hard time finding this, but it is so important.
Missionaries need to have a sponsor back home who agrees to pursue them relentlessly— someone outside of their missionary team bubble who will both listen and pray and ask tough questions. Someone who will hold them accountable to working tirelessly and sacrificially toward a healthy, redemptive relationship with their co-workers as top priority. This person doesn’t have to have any experience or knowledge about missions (they certainly don’t need to feel qualified), but they need to care deeply and be incredibly persistent.
I propose a significant commitment to communal practice of spiritual disciplines for all missionary recruits from day one. The Bible teaches us to confess sin to each other and pray for each other that we may be healed. It teaches the importance of praying together. It teaches us to admonish and encourage one another. So I would think that it should be obvious that any missionary team would do these things quite regularly.
Why is this hard?
Confession
Many Christians have somehow gotten the idea that confession of sin is primarily for the sake of repairing a relationship with an offended person. This is certainly a valuable reason to confess and relationships should certainly be repaired whenever possible, but so much of our sin is not clearly offensive to another individual. So much sin is personal (against God and only God), and it is for our own spiritual vitality that we must confess in community regularly. Yet because the church has done such a poor job of walking through this with people, the average Christians sees it as a nice option for those who “need it.” Even the average foreign missionary hasn’t likely ever been a part of a Christian community that practices this well.
Prayer
Every Christian values prayer on some level. But I don’t think the average Christian values prayer in community. So many prayer times in the US church focus more time and energy (or at least an equal amount) in the sharing of prayer requests—to garner moral support from ones peers—than on the actual act of praying together. Prayer, like confession, is seen as something that need not move much beyond one’s personal relationship with God. If someone isn’t “comfortable” praying out loud in company, there’s no problem with that, and no felt need to work toward becoming comfortable with it (or becoming willing to be uncomfortable). I think this mentality stunts Christian growth and effectiveness in ministry.
Teach, Admonish, and Encourage
These spiritual disciplines, like those mentioned above, are practiced and preached, but rarely to the extent that would be optimal. Often the teaching and admonishing parts are left to the preachers, and encouragement is metaphorically checked off with statements about someone’s nice outfit, pleasant children, or valiant effort at goodness. I think, however, that if confession and prayer are being practiced well in community, it will not be difficult to initiate meaningful teaching, admonishing, and encouraging between believers as well. The Spirit will prompt hearts toward it, and the trust will already be built to foster it.
One of the difficult aspects of this proposal for missionary teams is how to incorporate those members of the missionary team who are not physically present on the field at any given time. This includes not only those new recruits who are still in the midst of training and itineration, but also anyone currently on home assignment or traveling for some other reason. If fostering of this “marriage”—this spiritually tight, spiritually disciplined community—is to be a top ministry priority for missionaries, then it must take priority in all of these phases as well. Just because a husband is traveling for work does not mean he can check out from his obligation to communicate regularly with his wife, supporting her from a far and allowing her to do the same for him. But how can this be done between missionary families?
Thanks to modern technology we have lots of options! The biggest obstacle is really our reluctance to plan and accommodate for it.
Still thinking on this…
- Laura Dougherty
I listened to a podcast the other day in which a lady spoke about compatibility in marriage, and how much dying to self is required in marriage, and I realized that so much of what she said would be applicable to foreign missionaries’ relationships with each other. It’s always said that conflict with teammates is one of the chief things that sends missionaries home from the field, and I think that the reasons for this are somewhat of a mystery to the average church-goer and even missions supporter in the US.
Since moving to Peru three years ago I’ve both experienced and observed in others the intense stress of living in a different country, adjusting to a different culture, learning a different language, and assuming a full-time ministry job which may or may not look anything like the job description you signed up for. I’ve seen what a life-line your fellow teammates are to you and I’ve appreciate ours so much. But conflict is inevitable.
When you get married to someone, you learn to rub shoulders with them and all of their flaws on a daily basis. Your dating relationship may have been amazing and easy, but after moving in together, sharing financial responsibility, and having children together, loving that person must often be a choice that required a lot of dying to self. I think that relationships between missionaries are very similar.
A typical missionary heads overseas after raising support to make a difference in the world doing a job that they feel passionate about. They may or may not know the people that they’ll be working alongside very well. The thing is… missionary co-workers are so much more than just co-workers. They are also your neighbors, your kids’ best friends’ parents, your pastor, your kids’ teacher, your doctor. They are also co-parents with you of a ministry that they are every bit as passionate about and are extremely invested in (they too left everything and shipped their family overseas for the sake of this ministry).
Just as so much marital struggle stems from differing parenting styles, so much missionary conflict stems from different philosophies of ministry (and our ministries are in many ways like our babies). When you get married to someone you sign your name to a marriage license and make a verbal agreement based on some rather vague vows. Similarly when you sign up to be a missionary, you may sign a statement of belief and agree that you want to serve alongside said missionary team and help support said ministry. But it’s incredibly possible and even likely to arrive on the field with a set of expectations that are completely different from those of your teammates.
Missionaries come to the field expecting to give up a lot. They expect to get by with a lower standard of living. They expect to go without many conveniences that we are accustomed to in their home country. They expect to miss friends and family terribly. They expect to suffer additional sickness. They expect to deal with emotional struggles in their children as they navigate the new culture/language/friends/school/church. But they also expect that the joy of doing the ministry and seeing the fruit of people’s lives being changed will outweigh the struggles. Now, insert the other white guy who's getting in the way of your ministry success. Maybe he says you're doing it wrong. Or perhaps he refuses to give you the freedom you need to do the work God’s laid on your heart. Or it could be that his personal or family struggles are infringing more and more on your precious ministry time and emotional capacity.
You start to realize that—like a marriage—in order to maintain a healthy relationship with this guy, you’re going to have to devote a lot of time and energy to it--and you’re going to have to give up a lot of your expectations and dreams regarding your ministry. It may start to feel like your life is consumed by maintaining this relationship. And you may start to wonder… is this really what God called me here for?
It may be a little bit like the syndrome that moms experience when they realize they are spending their lives—year in and year out—changing diapers, washing dishes, and putting food in front of people. They hide in the bathroom lamenting the loss of their dreams of business success, or of traveling the world, or of being a fun sporty wife. The thing is, because of the intense love that God has put inside of them for those little people, they will walk out of that bathroom and lovingly confront them and their messes day in and day out. The missionary has been endowed with no such intrinsic love for his co-workers.
The weary mom often has a support network closer at hand than the missionary does too. She may have mom-friends who commiserate with her at the playground. She may even have parents and family members who have been there themselves, and offer to listen or help out from time to time. The missionary, on the other hand, has supporting churches and individuals who are financially invested in their “success” as a missionary. The missionary’s family and friends live plane rides away and may have been confused by or even against their move overseas in the first place. Even when these people are supportive and available, they probably have no understanding of what it’s really like, or what questions to ask--and they often feel unqualified to offer any true counsel or accountability to a missionary.
So what’s the answer? Should missionaries only sign up to serve alongside their close friends—like minded people that they already know well and with whom they share a common vision for ministry? Sadly, I’ve seen that model crash and burn as well. Working together overseas in a high-stakes environment somehow changes a lot of things and brings things to the surface in your relationship (like in a marriage) that you never could have anticipated. Even Paul himself was not immune to this reality (Acts 15).
Missionary agencies often provide member care services to help when there is a crisis. Some even provide some training on conflict management up front for their recruits. Would-be missionaries are told that team relationships can be difficult, and that a lot of patience and grace is needed. We tell young engaged couples these things too. But what actually contributes to a missionary’s ability to last on the field through difficult team conflict?
I wonder if we should take a closer look at what predicts longevity in a marriage? What preparation or mind-sets help a couple to last through thick and thin?
For one thing, I think marriage has to be your top priority. You have to realize that your marriage itself is a ministry that could change the world more than anything else you do--bringing glory to God through sacrificial, covenant love, day in and day out. I think missionaries need to head to the field with this mindset. If team conflict is truly one of the primary things sending people home from the field, then clearly these relationships have to be taken very seriously and are deal breakers when it comes to ministry success. Healthy team relationships are not only vital to keeping missionaries on the field. The reality is that the people we are reaching may be more convinced of our gospel message (or conversely disillusioned by it) based on how they see us interacting with our teammates.
At the last moment before Christ was to be arrested and crucified, He was not to be found out preaching to the lost. He was washing his friends' feet. He told them, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)
As couples approach marriage they often do pre-marital counseling that covers how to manage finances together, how to work together on parenting, how to navigate times with extended family, and how to prioritize having fun together as a couple. We talk people through the logistics of life as a married couple, but the thing that prepared me the most for my marriage was the way our premarital counselor forced us to talk through some tough, personal issues ahead of time. He had us discuss the specific details of our expectations for each other. He exhorted us to begin praying together daily during our engagement. He encouraged us to hash through our own shortcomings and habitual sins, offering unconditional love and forgiveness, and talking through specific plans for how we would walk with our spouse through these struggles. Maybe missionaries should do more of this as they prepare for the field.
Maybe missionary work should have a greater emphasis on ministry through living communally as a missionary team, tackling sin together, praying, and worshiping together. Maybe new missionary recruits should agree to this type of ministry being their top priority with all other ministry goals being secondary. Maybe they should agree to vulnerability with their teammates from the very beginning of their missionary journey regarding sin struggles, and at the same time commit to praying with their teammates through theirs. I realize this is a radical idea.
Another thing that I think we can take away from the marriage metaphor, is the idea that your spouse cannot be everything for you. Obviously our relationship with God must take first priority in our lives, but premarital counselors also advise that each person have other trusted people in their lives who will keep them accountable to personal growth and to working on their marriage as a priority. We all need people who are champions for us in all areas of life and who will ask good questions and empathize with our struggles but also hold us accountable and speak the truth in love. Missionaries have a hard time finding this, but it is so important.
Missionaries need to have a sponsor back home who agrees to pursue them relentlessly— someone outside of their missionary team bubble who will both listen and pray and ask tough questions. Someone who will hold them accountable to working tirelessly and sacrificially toward a healthy, redemptive relationship with their co-workers as top priority. This person doesn’t have to have any experience or knowledge about missions (they certainly don’t need to feel qualified), but they need to care deeply and be incredibly persistent.
I propose a significant commitment to communal practice of spiritual disciplines for all missionary recruits from day one. The Bible teaches us to confess sin to each other and pray for each other that we may be healed. It teaches the importance of praying together. It teaches us to admonish and encourage one another. So I would think that it should be obvious that any missionary team would do these things quite regularly.
Why is this hard?
Confession
Many Christians have somehow gotten the idea that confession of sin is primarily for the sake of repairing a relationship with an offended person. This is certainly a valuable reason to confess and relationships should certainly be repaired whenever possible, but so much of our sin is not clearly offensive to another individual. So much sin is personal (against God and only God), and it is for our own spiritual vitality that we must confess in community regularly. Yet because the church has done such a poor job of walking through this with people, the average Christians sees it as a nice option for those who “need it.” Even the average foreign missionary hasn’t likely ever been a part of a Christian community that practices this well.
Prayer
Every Christian values prayer on some level. But I don’t think the average Christian values prayer in community. So many prayer times in the US church focus more time and energy (or at least an equal amount) in the sharing of prayer requests—to garner moral support from ones peers—than on the actual act of praying together. Prayer, like confession, is seen as something that need not move much beyond one’s personal relationship with God. If someone isn’t “comfortable” praying out loud in company, there’s no problem with that, and no felt need to work toward becoming comfortable with it (or becoming willing to be uncomfortable). I think this mentality stunts Christian growth and effectiveness in ministry.
Teach, Admonish, and Encourage
These spiritual disciplines, like those mentioned above, are practiced and preached, but rarely to the extent that would be optimal. Often the teaching and admonishing parts are left to the preachers, and encouragement is metaphorically checked off with statements about someone’s nice outfit, pleasant children, or valiant effort at goodness. I think, however, that if confession and prayer are being practiced well in community, it will not be difficult to initiate meaningful teaching, admonishing, and encouraging between believers as well. The Spirit will prompt hearts toward it, and the trust will already be built to foster it.
One of the difficult aspects of this proposal for missionary teams is how to incorporate those members of the missionary team who are not physically present on the field at any given time. This includes not only those new recruits who are still in the midst of training and itineration, but also anyone currently on home assignment or traveling for some other reason. If fostering of this “marriage”—this spiritually tight, spiritually disciplined community—is to be a top ministry priority for missionaries, then it must take priority in all of these phases as well. Just because a husband is traveling for work does not mean he can check out from his obligation to communicate regularly with his wife, supporting her from a far and allowing her to do the same for him. But how can this be done between missionary families?
Thanks to modern technology we have lots of options! The biggest obstacle is really our reluctance to plan and accommodate for it.
Still thinking on this…
- Laura Dougherty
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Our Advent Activities this Year
This month we have done a daily advent reading and activity with Finn. I’ve felt for some time that Finn was ready to learn about the gospel on a deeper level—especially considering the constant sin struggles he has demonstrated lately—and I decided that the advent season would provide a good opportunity to do it. It’s been really good. Finn is pretty absent minded in general, and hasn’t demonstrated a ton of interest or curiosity about spiritual things, but he seems to be getting some of it.
We’re using an advent art challenge that goes along with John Piper’s “Good News of Great Joy” pamphlet. Each day Derek and I read Piper’s devotional, and we do the children’s one with Finn. Additionally I’ve added a special activity that goes with each day. Some of the activities are fun and light-hearted, and others are more spiritually deep.
Advent Day 1 - We read about John the Baptist’s ministry of preparing people’s hearts for Jesus’ coming. We made a snowflake ornament out of popsickle sticks and wrote several things Jesus has done for us on the sticks. Finn wrote things like “God made everything,” “God made transformers,” and “God gave us hot glue guns.”
Advent Day 2 - We read the story of the angel coming to Mary and we sang praises to God as a family. One of the songs we sang was Chris Tomlin’s, “My Soul Magnifies the Lord,” which comes from Mary’s song of praise.
Advent Day 3 - We read about how God’s people had been waiting for centuries for a Savior to come. We talked about how we too are waiting for Jesus to come at His second coming, just like we are waiting for Christmas to come. We made a chain out of christmasy paper to count down the days until Christmas, and talked about how no one knows how many days it will be until Christ’s return.
Advent Day 4 - We read about the journey to Bethlehem that Mary and Joseph made, and how they were acting in obedience to God even though the journey was difficult and they had to stay in a stable. We talked about how we, too, must obey God both with our feet (going where God tells us to go) and with our hands (doing what God tells us to do). We made hand and foot prints with paint on canvases.
Advent Day 5 - We read about Jesus’ birth and talked about how Jesus gave up heaven to be born in a lowly stable in a broken world of sinners. We told Finn that on this day we were going to practice giving something up for someone else since Jesus gave up so much for us. We suggested that Finn give up one of his stuffed animals for his baby sister. Finn liked this idea and went with it.
Advent Day 6 - We read about the Angels’ announcement of Jesus’ birth to the shepherds, and talked about how we are called to announce the good new of Jesus’ salvation to people. We made Christmas cards announcing Jesus’ birth for all of Finn’s classmates at preschool. I wrote “Merry Christmas” and “Christ is born” (in Spanish-since all his classmates are Spanish speakers) and Finn decorated the cards with stickers, shiny paper scraps, and crayons.
Advent Day 7 - We read about the wise men and looked at a map of the world to show Finn where Jesus was born, and what direction the wise men came from. We talked about how Jesus came for people all over the world, and looked at pictures of people from different countries. We talked about how missionaries like us travel to different parts of the world to tell them the good news of Jesus since He came for everyone.
Advent Day 8 - We read about the star that the wise men followed to find Jesus, and we made our own gold star (with cardboard and shiny gold wrapping paper) and we hid it in the house for Finn to find. This was fun and Finn really enjoyed it.
Advent Day 9 - We read about King Herod’s anger and talked about how there are many kings in the world like Herod (some good and some bad), but Jesus is the true king of the whole world. We read “The Christmas Promise” by Alison Mitchell.
Advent Day 10 - We read about the Wise Men’s gifts for Jesus and made Christmas cookies to give as gifts to our friends.
Advent Day 11 - We read about Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, read the story of his crucifixion from a storybook Bible, and talked about why Jesus did this. We took Finn to church to see a life-size wooden cross and showed him some nails and talked about what Jesus went through for us to take the punishment for our sins.
Advent Day 12 - We talked about animal sacrifice in the Old Testament, and how Jesus was our lamb, sacrificed for our sins. We told Finn that in the same way that Jesus took the punishment for our sins, Daddy was going to take Finn’s spanking for him today, as an act of substitutionary atonement. Finn was pretty amused by this, and actually got excited that afternoon when Dad had to take a spanking for him. Not exactly the response we were hoping for, but hopefully it helped him to understand a little about what it meant for Jesus to take our punishment for us.
Advent Day 13 - We read about how Jesus is at the right hand of God in heaven now, interceding on our behalf, reminding God that we are forgiven. We also read about John’s vision of heaven in a storybook Bible. Finn liked talking about the pictures.
Advent Day 14 - We talked about the covenant of works and the covenant of grace with Finn. Admittedly this was a bit heavy for him, but at the end of the devotional he was able to tell us that we go to heaven because of Jesus’ obedience, not our own. We started trying to memorize 1John 1:9 together a family too. Finn was unfamiliar with the word, “confess” so we talked about that and what a true confession involves (naming your sin). I’m hoping that he made the connection with how we require that of him when he’s apologizing for something.
Advent Day 15 - We talked about the gift of eternal life that Jesus gives His children. I always feel like I’m probably confusing Finn with the idea that we’ll never die even though we will probably die physically one day… he tends to accept what we teach him without asking questions, though. We told Finn that because Jesus gives us wonderful gifts like eternal life, at Christmas we give gifts to other people. This day we took a family trip to the mall to buy Christmas presents for each other. Finn went with Derek to buy a present for me, and then he went with me to buy for Derek. It was fun, though we did have to talk him out of some pretty hilarious ideas of what his dad would want for Christmas. He also saw some things that he wanted to get for himself, and I reminded him that we don’t buy gifts for ourselves, but for others.
Advent Day 16 - Today’s devotional reading talked about how God’s kingdom sometimes seems upside down due to sin and the effects of the fall in our world. The picture was of an upside down castle, and Finn really fixated on why it was upside down (in fact for the next several days he always asked about whether the picture was upside down or not). He seemed to understand, by the end of our discussion, though, that the reason God’s kingdom seems upside down sometimes is because of our sin, but God can make it better. We sang praises to God as a family for making bad things good… though Finn for some reason was read to be done and had a poor attitude through our worship time. Skye loved it, though, and was pretty excited about beating on the cajon with her dad.
Advent Day 17 - The devotional today was about how Jesus makes our hearts clean and blameless. I used play-doh to demonstrate this. I made two “clean” hearts, Finn’s and Jesus’s, but then I talked with Finn about how every time he does a no-no there’s sin in his heart, and I put a spot in his heart with another color of play-doh. But I explained that Jesus never sinned, so His heart was clean. Then we talked about how God cannot be near any sin, so everyone with sin in their heart is condemned to hell when they die. (Finn spent several minutes deciding where on the table should be our designated “heaven” and our designated “hell.” Then I told Finn that when Jesus came, he gave Finn His clean heart so that Finn could go to heaven, and Jesus took Finn’s sinful heart, and had to die as a result. Overall this whole demonstration went pretty well. Later Finn asked for a nail and started pounding holes into Jesus’ heart since Jesus was nailed to the cross. I guess he remembered that from day 11!
Advent Day 18 - On this day we talked about how God sends His children into the world to show people what God is like. We talked about how Finn could show his friends at school what God is like (loving, kind, etc.) I had planned originally for us to draw a picture with Finn to represent what God is like, but I think that was a little abstract to Finn and we never actually got around to it.
Advent Day 19 - We talked about how Satan has the power to accuse us of sin, but Jesus’s sacrifice conquered Satan so that we can be forgiven. We also talked about how because Jesus has forgiven Finn for his sins, Mom and Dad also have to always forgive Finn no matter how bad his sin is. We told Finn that we had a special gift for him to remind him that we will always forgive him for his no-nos. We give Finn a new teddy bear, and told him that the bear would remind him of how much we love him and will always forgive him. He seemed to like it, but was pretty adament that the bear couldn’t talk.
Advent Day 20 - We talked today about Satan and how God empowers us to defeat sin in our lives. We role played defeating sin like a soldier with God’s power.
Advent Day 21 - This day’s lesson was about how one of the reason’s that Jesus came to earth was to help us know God better. We talked some about the great commission, and how we are called to show others who God is. Today Finn recorded a video in which he tells what he knows about God.
Advent Day 22 - We learned about how the Bible is a very special gift that we have from God, that is essentially a letter from Him, in which He tells us about Himself. Because God has written this wonderful letter to us, Finn dictated a letter to me that he chose to send to his grandparents.
Advent Day 23 - On this day we talked about how sin separates us from God, but Jesus bridged the gap between us and God when He died on the cross. We had Finn go to the end of the hallway, away from Derek, to demonstrate the distance between Finn and God, and then I took Derek’s hand and Finn’s hand and pulled them together to demonstrate how Jesus brings us close to God when he takes away our sin.
Advent Day 24 - Today we talked about how Jesus forgives us of our sin, but he still desires for us to fight against sin in our lives, and to use the power of the Holy Spirit to make wise decisions and say no to temptation. We told Finn that living life as a child of God can be kind of like a race, where you have to work hard to fight for what’s right. Finn and I prepared for a race in the park outside. We brought two cones to mark the start line and the finish line. Finn was optimistic that he could beat me. Derek yelled, “go!” and we were off. I won. But then we could have a rematch, and this time if he asked Daddy for help, Daddy would help him run the race, just like the Holy Spirit helps us to fight sin in our lives. Finn agreed to this plan and asked Derek to help. This time as soon as the race began, Derek grabbed Finn and took off, beating me easily. Finn was pretty pumped about winning.
Advent Day 25 - Christmas day we had the Bible wrapped in wrapping paper under the tree and we had Finn open that present first. We talked again about how the Bible was one of the wonderful gifts that God gives us, and how in it we can read about Jesus’ birth. We read the Christmas story out of the Bible and thanked God for coming to earth for us. Then we presented gifts to each other. Finn was excited to run and get the gifts for us that he had helped choose and wrap. Then he was also excited when he realized that we had gifts for him too.
Doing all of these things with Finn this month have been really special. He's gotten excited about doing our advent devotional every morning, and He's really enjoyed some of the activities. I think he also has a deeper understanding of the gospel now. It's hard to say how much of it has really resonated in his heart, but I know that he gets it more now than before this month. It's taken some serious time and intentionality to do it all and I know I won't be able to do this much every advent season, but I'm really glad we've done it this year and that we have some fun mementos from it too!
- Laura
We’re using an advent art challenge that goes along with John Piper’s “Good News of Great Joy” pamphlet. Each day Derek and I read Piper’s devotional, and we do the children’s one with Finn. Additionally I’ve added a special activity that goes with each day. Some of the activities are fun and light-hearted, and others are more spiritually deep.
Advent Day 1 - We read about John the Baptist’s ministry of preparing people’s hearts for Jesus’ coming. We made a snowflake ornament out of popsickle sticks and wrote several things Jesus has done for us on the sticks. Finn wrote things like “God made everything,” “God made transformers,” and “God gave us hot glue guns.”
Advent Day 2 - We read the story of the angel coming to Mary and we sang praises to God as a family. One of the songs we sang was Chris Tomlin’s, “My Soul Magnifies the Lord,” which comes from Mary’s song of praise.
Advent Day 3 - We read about how God’s people had been waiting for centuries for a Savior to come. We talked about how we too are waiting for Jesus to come at His second coming, just like we are waiting for Christmas to come. We made a chain out of christmasy paper to count down the days until Christmas, and talked about how no one knows how many days it will be until Christ’s return.
Advent Day 4 - We read about the journey to Bethlehem that Mary and Joseph made, and how they were acting in obedience to God even though the journey was difficult and they had to stay in a stable. We talked about how we, too, must obey God both with our feet (going where God tells us to go) and with our hands (doing what God tells us to do). We made hand and foot prints with paint on canvases.
Advent Day 5 - We read about Jesus’ birth and talked about how Jesus gave up heaven to be born in a lowly stable in a broken world of sinners. We told Finn that on this day we were going to practice giving something up for someone else since Jesus gave up so much for us. We suggested that Finn give up one of his stuffed animals for his baby sister. Finn liked this idea and went with it.
Advent Day 6 - We read about the Angels’ announcement of Jesus’ birth to the shepherds, and talked about how we are called to announce the good new of Jesus’ salvation to people. We made Christmas cards announcing Jesus’ birth for all of Finn’s classmates at preschool. I wrote “Merry Christmas” and “Christ is born” (in Spanish-since all his classmates are Spanish speakers) and Finn decorated the cards with stickers, shiny paper scraps, and crayons.
Advent Day 7 - We read about the wise men and looked at a map of the world to show Finn where Jesus was born, and what direction the wise men came from. We talked about how Jesus came for people all over the world, and looked at pictures of people from different countries. We talked about how missionaries like us travel to different parts of the world to tell them the good news of Jesus since He came for everyone.
Advent Day 8 - We read about the star that the wise men followed to find Jesus, and we made our own gold star (with cardboard and shiny gold wrapping paper) and we hid it in the house for Finn to find. This was fun and Finn really enjoyed it.
Advent Day 9 - We read about King Herod’s anger and talked about how there are many kings in the world like Herod (some good and some bad), but Jesus is the true king of the whole world. We read “The Christmas Promise” by Alison Mitchell.
Advent Day 10 - We read about the Wise Men’s gifts for Jesus and made Christmas cookies to give as gifts to our friends.
Advent Day 11 - We read about Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, read the story of his crucifixion from a storybook Bible, and talked about why Jesus did this. We took Finn to church to see a life-size wooden cross and showed him some nails and talked about what Jesus went through for us to take the punishment for our sins.
Advent Day 12 - We talked about animal sacrifice in the Old Testament, and how Jesus was our lamb, sacrificed for our sins. We told Finn that in the same way that Jesus took the punishment for our sins, Daddy was going to take Finn’s spanking for him today, as an act of substitutionary atonement. Finn was pretty amused by this, and actually got excited that afternoon when Dad had to take a spanking for him. Not exactly the response we were hoping for, but hopefully it helped him to understand a little about what it meant for Jesus to take our punishment for us.
Advent Day 13 - We read about how Jesus is at the right hand of God in heaven now, interceding on our behalf, reminding God that we are forgiven. We also read about John’s vision of heaven in a storybook Bible. Finn liked talking about the pictures.
Advent Day 14 - We talked about the covenant of works and the covenant of grace with Finn. Admittedly this was a bit heavy for him, but at the end of the devotional he was able to tell us that we go to heaven because of Jesus’ obedience, not our own. We started trying to memorize 1John 1:9 together a family too. Finn was unfamiliar with the word, “confess” so we talked about that and what a true confession involves (naming your sin). I’m hoping that he made the connection with how we require that of him when he’s apologizing for something.
Advent Day 15 - We talked about the gift of eternal life that Jesus gives His children. I always feel like I’m probably confusing Finn with the idea that we’ll never die even though we will probably die physically one day… he tends to accept what we teach him without asking questions, though. We told Finn that because Jesus gives us wonderful gifts like eternal life, at Christmas we give gifts to other people. This day we took a family trip to the mall to buy Christmas presents for each other. Finn went with Derek to buy a present for me, and then he went with me to buy for Derek. It was fun, though we did have to talk him out of some pretty hilarious ideas of what his dad would want for Christmas. He also saw some things that he wanted to get for himself, and I reminded him that we don’t buy gifts for ourselves, but for others.
Advent Day 16 - Today’s devotional reading talked about how God’s kingdom sometimes seems upside down due to sin and the effects of the fall in our world. The picture was of an upside down castle, and Finn really fixated on why it was upside down (in fact for the next several days he always asked about whether the picture was upside down or not). He seemed to understand, by the end of our discussion, though, that the reason God’s kingdom seems upside down sometimes is because of our sin, but God can make it better. We sang praises to God as a family for making bad things good… though Finn for some reason was read to be done and had a poor attitude through our worship time. Skye loved it, though, and was pretty excited about beating on the cajon with her dad.
Advent Day 17 - The devotional today was about how Jesus makes our hearts clean and blameless. I used play-doh to demonstrate this. I made two “clean” hearts, Finn’s and Jesus’s, but then I talked with Finn about how every time he does a no-no there’s sin in his heart, and I put a spot in his heart with another color of play-doh. But I explained that Jesus never sinned, so His heart was clean. Then we talked about how God cannot be near any sin, so everyone with sin in their heart is condemned to hell when they die. (Finn spent several minutes deciding where on the table should be our designated “heaven” and our designated “hell.” Then I told Finn that when Jesus came, he gave Finn His clean heart so that Finn could go to heaven, and Jesus took Finn’s sinful heart, and had to die as a result. Overall this whole demonstration went pretty well. Later Finn asked for a nail and started pounding holes into Jesus’ heart since Jesus was nailed to the cross. I guess he remembered that from day 11!
Advent Day 18 - On this day we talked about how God sends His children into the world to show people what God is like. We talked about how Finn could show his friends at school what God is like (loving, kind, etc.) I had planned originally for us to draw a picture with Finn to represent what God is like, but I think that was a little abstract to Finn and we never actually got around to it.
Advent Day 19 - We talked about how Satan has the power to accuse us of sin, but Jesus’s sacrifice conquered Satan so that we can be forgiven. We also talked about how because Jesus has forgiven Finn for his sins, Mom and Dad also have to always forgive Finn no matter how bad his sin is. We told Finn that we had a special gift for him to remind him that we will always forgive him for his no-nos. We give Finn a new teddy bear, and told him that the bear would remind him of how much we love him and will always forgive him. He seemed to like it, but was pretty adament that the bear couldn’t talk.
Advent Day 20 - We talked today about Satan and how God empowers us to defeat sin in our lives. We role played defeating sin like a soldier with God’s power.
Advent Day 21 - This day’s lesson was about how one of the reason’s that Jesus came to earth was to help us know God better. We talked some about the great commission, and how we are called to show others who God is. Today Finn recorded a video in which he tells what he knows about God.
Advent Day 22 - We learned about how the Bible is a very special gift that we have from God, that is essentially a letter from Him, in which He tells us about Himself. Because God has written this wonderful letter to us, Finn dictated a letter to me that he chose to send to his grandparents.
Advent Day 23 - On this day we talked about how sin separates us from God, but Jesus bridged the gap between us and God when He died on the cross. We had Finn go to the end of the hallway, away from Derek, to demonstrate the distance between Finn and God, and then I took Derek’s hand and Finn’s hand and pulled them together to demonstrate how Jesus brings us close to God when he takes away our sin.
Advent Day 24 - Today we talked about how Jesus forgives us of our sin, but he still desires for us to fight against sin in our lives, and to use the power of the Holy Spirit to make wise decisions and say no to temptation. We told Finn that living life as a child of God can be kind of like a race, where you have to work hard to fight for what’s right. Finn and I prepared for a race in the park outside. We brought two cones to mark the start line and the finish line. Finn was optimistic that he could beat me. Derek yelled, “go!” and we were off. I won. But then we could have a rematch, and this time if he asked Daddy for help, Daddy would help him run the race, just like the Holy Spirit helps us to fight sin in our lives. Finn agreed to this plan and asked Derek to help. This time as soon as the race began, Derek grabbed Finn and took off, beating me easily. Finn was pretty pumped about winning.
Advent Day 25 - Christmas day we had the Bible wrapped in wrapping paper under the tree and we had Finn open that present first. We talked again about how the Bible was one of the wonderful gifts that God gives us, and how in it we can read about Jesus’ birth. We read the Christmas story out of the Bible and thanked God for coming to earth for us. Then we presented gifts to each other. Finn was excited to run and get the gifts for us that he had helped choose and wrap. Then he was also excited when he realized that we had gifts for him too.
Doing all of these things with Finn this month have been really special. He's gotten excited about doing our advent devotional every morning, and He's really enjoyed some of the activities. I think he also has a deeper understanding of the gospel now. It's hard to say how much of it has really resonated in his heart, but I know that he gets it more now than before this month. It's taken some serious time and intentionality to do it all and I know I won't be able to do this much every advent season, but I'm really glad we've done it this year and that we have some fun mementos from it too!
- Laura
Thursday, November 29, 2018
Answering the Pain
Having lived in Peru for three years now, more and more I find myself morning the effects of the fall in this culture. We see the darkness being pushed back, and rejoice with new church attenders as they encounter Christian community and the love of Christ for the first time, yet even for those who accept the gospel and make a profession of faith, the millstone of having grown up in a godless culture makes submission to Christ’s Lordship in all areas of life incredibly challenging—especially when it comes to morality. The state of morality in this culture is so broken that it has almost completely destroyed the concept of family, and led to a pervasive sense of shame and mistrust. I see this issue as the single biggest stumbling block for Peruvians in giving their lives to Christ. It’s so discouraging to see people grow in their faith, experience the love of Christ, long for the gospel to be true in their lives, and then cower under the weight of their inability to submit this area of their life to Christ’s Lordship.
Persistent moral decay certainly presents a formidable adversary to the advancement of the gospel in our own US culture. For many within in the church, religiosity has caused sexual struggle to present itself as a hidden yet festering cancer causing shame that fuels further struggle, and even giving birth to crises which shake our very faith in God’s goodness. I’m thankful for ministries like Authentic Intimacy, which are offering hope to a culture that is quickly decaying in sexual brokenness. As AI’s new book, “Rethinking Sexuality: God’s Design and Why it Matters” states, “A tidal wave of sexual confusion and brokenness has swept over us, but this is just the beginning. The percentages of those addicted, traumatized, confused, and in bondage will exponentially increase in the days to come. A devastating tsunami of sexual abuse, addiction, shattered identity, and shame is on the way.” I see this reality already playing out in Peruvian culture.
In Cusco today, young people are growing up with the basic assumption that they cannot trust a single human being—not even family members. Between 2000 and 2003 the World Health Organization in Peru conducted a study which revealed that 69% of women in Cusco reported physical and/or sexual abuse by a partner. I would venture to say that the percentage is actually significantly higher than that today, and that the abuse comes not just from partners but from members from the family of origin.
Young people here are promising themselves that they will never marry. Why would they? Many of them have literally never seen a healthy marriage. Yet their sense of identity is so damaged by abuse that they run after sexual partners who offer to affirm their worth and for a season, help them to forget their feelings of shame.
Within the church the mindset is not much different. If an understanding of the correlation between sexuality and spirituality is lacking in the US, it is certainly lacking here. There seems to be a general assumption that as long as you love God and treat your fellow man with benevolence, what you do behind closed doors with your partner is of no concern to God or the church. This breaks my heart, because it promotes engaging in sex for all of the wrong reasons—reasons that lead to mistrust between humans and undercut the beautiful picture of covenant love that God designed it for. By the time people are confronted with the gospel, their sense of identity is so dependent on an immoral lifestyle that they cannot accept a God who would condemn them for it, and church leaders struggle to know how to combat this.
The church is hurting because it is attempting to impose Biblical principles on a people whose worldview is colored by survival mentalities resulting from a godless society. Time and again people come to our church looking for help in their relationships. Wounded by romantic unions which are centered on personal gratification, people ask for counseling and hope for a quick fix.
Is there a fix for chronic cultural immorality and godlessness? Jesus’ own disciples balked at the exhortation to abide in Christ through giving up one’s own life and consume His flesh and blood (John 6:53),” saying, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” Jesus acknowledged that His teaching IS offensive and that “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is of no help at all.” (v. 61-62) The Spirit of God alone can move any person toward true repentance and acceptance of the true (yet offensive) gospel.
So what can we missionaries do to combat the negative aspects of this present culture?
One immediate project I’ve begun working on is developing a class on God’s plan for romantic relationships that we can offer at our church for those who are seeking help. It’s my hope that studying what the Bible says about this topic will not only help people with their human relationships (which would be huge), but will point to the beauty of the gospel in a way they’ve yet to see or experience. The gospel is written into our bodies and at the very core of our human longings. I pray that the people of Peru will come to see that, and have their eyes opened to the amazing love of a heavenly Father who is the ultimate fulfillment of all our longings.
For change to really transpire at a cultural level, however, I know that a class will not be enough. I believe it must begin with families, and it has to be more than one or two days a week. I believe that a Christian school, in partnership with the local church, could facilitate an invaluable space for bringing about the formation and shaping of hearts and minds. A school that trains young people from an early age to view all of life through the lens of Gods’ good plan for the world, that engages parents on a regular basis regarding how to reinforce scriptural principles at home, and that models daily, via its staff and teachers, what a life transformed by the gospel looks like, and could, with God’s blessing, bring about redemption in a culture, one class at a time.
This dream is big and it will certainly require years of hard work to prepare, lots (let me emphasize LOTS) of money, and a group of missionary teachers willing to give their lives for the sake of bringing about this cultural revival. I believe it’s totally possible, though. Schools are being used around the world to bring about ideological changes in culture. Just this morning I listened to an interview in which a Rwandan pastor shared about how the schools in his country slowly indoctrinated his countrymen over the course of 35 years such that in 1994 brothers were persuaded to take up arms against brother in 100 days of widespread genocide. After starting 25 churches in Rwanda, this pastor shifted his focus toward spiritual formation of his countrymen via starting a Christian school. Schools have a powerful platform to affect culture either for evil or for good.
I propose that spiritual formation happening in a Christian school in Cusco could equip Peruvian students, one generation at a time, to affect change in this culture. If a generation of young people could grow up with basic assumptions about life, their identity, and their personal worth that are based on truth, and if they were equipped with a high quality education, imagine how they could impact their culture! For this reason, I have begun a discussion with our teammates and with like-minded promoters of Christian education around the world about the possibility of starting a Christian International school in Cusco. Will you pray with me toward this goal? Will you pray about how God might call you to be involved?
- Laura Dougherty
Persistent moral decay certainly presents a formidable adversary to the advancement of the gospel in our own US culture. For many within in the church, religiosity has caused sexual struggle to present itself as a hidden yet festering cancer causing shame that fuels further struggle, and even giving birth to crises which shake our very faith in God’s goodness. I’m thankful for ministries like Authentic Intimacy, which are offering hope to a culture that is quickly decaying in sexual brokenness. As AI’s new book, “Rethinking Sexuality: God’s Design and Why it Matters” states, “A tidal wave of sexual confusion and brokenness has swept over us, but this is just the beginning. The percentages of those addicted, traumatized, confused, and in bondage will exponentially increase in the days to come. A devastating tsunami of sexual abuse, addiction, shattered identity, and shame is on the way.” I see this reality already playing out in Peruvian culture.
In Cusco today, young people are growing up with the basic assumption that they cannot trust a single human being—not even family members. Between 2000 and 2003 the World Health Organization in Peru conducted a study which revealed that 69% of women in Cusco reported physical and/or sexual abuse by a partner. I would venture to say that the percentage is actually significantly higher than that today, and that the abuse comes not just from partners but from members from the family of origin.
Young people here are promising themselves that they will never marry. Why would they? Many of them have literally never seen a healthy marriage. Yet their sense of identity is so damaged by abuse that they run after sexual partners who offer to affirm their worth and for a season, help them to forget their feelings of shame.
Within the church the mindset is not much different. If an understanding of the correlation between sexuality and spirituality is lacking in the US, it is certainly lacking here. There seems to be a general assumption that as long as you love God and treat your fellow man with benevolence, what you do behind closed doors with your partner is of no concern to God or the church. This breaks my heart, because it promotes engaging in sex for all of the wrong reasons—reasons that lead to mistrust between humans and undercut the beautiful picture of covenant love that God designed it for. By the time people are confronted with the gospel, their sense of identity is so dependent on an immoral lifestyle that they cannot accept a God who would condemn them for it, and church leaders struggle to know how to combat this.
The church is hurting because it is attempting to impose Biblical principles on a people whose worldview is colored by survival mentalities resulting from a godless society. Time and again people come to our church looking for help in their relationships. Wounded by romantic unions which are centered on personal gratification, people ask for counseling and hope for a quick fix.
Is there a fix for chronic cultural immorality and godlessness? Jesus’ own disciples balked at the exhortation to abide in Christ through giving up one’s own life and consume His flesh and blood (John 6:53),” saying, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” Jesus acknowledged that His teaching IS offensive and that “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is of no help at all.” (v. 61-62) The Spirit of God alone can move any person toward true repentance and acceptance of the true (yet offensive) gospel.
So what can we missionaries do to combat the negative aspects of this present culture?
One immediate project I’ve begun working on is developing a class on God’s plan for romantic relationships that we can offer at our church for those who are seeking help. It’s my hope that studying what the Bible says about this topic will not only help people with their human relationships (which would be huge), but will point to the beauty of the gospel in a way they’ve yet to see or experience. The gospel is written into our bodies and at the very core of our human longings. I pray that the people of Peru will come to see that, and have their eyes opened to the amazing love of a heavenly Father who is the ultimate fulfillment of all our longings.
For change to really transpire at a cultural level, however, I know that a class will not be enough. I believe it must begin with families, and it has to be more than one or two days a week. I believe that a Christian school, in partnership with the local church, could facilitate an invaluable space for bringing about the formation and shaping of hearts and minds. A school that trains young people from an early age to view all of life through the lens of Gods’ good plan for the world, that engages parents on a regular basis regarding how to reinforce scriptural principles at home, and that models daily, via its staff and teachers, what a life transformed by the gospel looks like, and could, with God’s blessing, bring about redemption in a culture, one class at a time.
This dream is big and it will certainly require years of hard work to prepare, lots (let me emphasize LOTS) of money, and a group of missionary teachers willing to give their lives for the sake of bringing about this cultural revival. I believe it’s totally possible, though. Schools are being used around the world to bring about ideological changes in culture. Just this morning I listened to an interview in which a Rwandan pastor shared about how the schools in his country slowly indoctrinated his countrymen over the course of 35 years such that in 1994 brothers were persuaded to take up arms against brother in 100 days of widespread genocide. After starting 25 churches in Rwanda, this pastor shifted his focus toward spiritual formation of his countrymen via starting a Christian school. Schools have a powerful platform to affect culture either for evil or for good.
I propose that spiritual formation happening in a Christian school in Cusco could equip Peruvian students, one generation at a time, to affect change in this culture. If a generation of young people could grow up with basic assumptions about life, their identity, and their personal worth that are based on truth, and if they were equipped with a high quality education, imagine how they could impact their culture! For this reason, I have begun a discussion with our teammates and with like-minded promoters of Christian education around the world about the possibility of starting a Christian International school in Cusco. Will you pray with me toward this goal? Will you pray about how God might call you to be involved?
- Laura Dougherty
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