MOVING: Part 1

Our move back to the US from Peru is feeling really real now.  I’ve been selling off a lot of our things for the past month via a private facebook group that I created.  It has worked really well.  It’s been nice and controlled and I’ve just listed items as I’ve had the time and felt ready to part with them, and then people have come to pick up their purchases at my house.

 

 

 

The movers were supposed to come today to pack up a couple furniture pieces and a bunch of boxes of stuff.  But they surprised us yesterday by showing up a day early!  I think we could have told them that we weren’t ready and needed to stick with the date we had prearranged…. But we actually were basically ready and decided to go ahead and do it.  So as the movers wrapped cardboard around our things most of the day, we cleaned, packed, did homeschool (our last day before an extra long Christmas break!), sold more stuff, and did a little online black Friday shopping! We finished out the day sitting on a mattress on the floor in Skye’s room singing Christmas carols along with youtube videos on my laptop (TV and couches were gone), and talking about the things we’re thankful for.

 

 

 

 

Today was probably our craziest day yet move-wise.  We had people coming at different points all throughout the day to pick up purchases including several big appliances so we were scurrying to make sure those things were clean and ready to go.  We also moved out of our apartment to an Airbnb where we will be until we leave on the 6^th.  So in between people stopping by to pick up stuff we were squeezing all of the things into our suitcases and preparing for the first move of our move (there will be at least 3 moves: Airbnb - grandparent’s house - our house).

 

 

 

Some teammates were kind to keep our children for us during the part of the afternoon when we were actually moving from our apartment to the Airbnb.  Transporting all our bags and suitcases was a bit of an ordeal without a vehicle.  We were able to hail a station wagon taxi and have him make several trips back and forth with us, though, and then we walked to the grocery store to stock up on food for the next week before picking up the children.

 

 

 

Finn and Skye have been super excited about moving into this Airbnb.  The concept of a new house is so exciting to them, and they’ve been looking forward to it for weeks.  When they finally arrived in the new place, I already had their toys laid out in their rooms, and they were thrilled to explore and discover every nook and cranny of the house.  There was lots of bouncing up and down, crawling under furniture, and running from one room to the next. 

 

 

 

After an extra long bedtime routine (still lots of excitement pulsing through these little bodies!) we’ve finally got the kids to sleep and settled in for the night in our Airbnb.  I’ve been praying a lot for calm and peace and a smooth, restful night’s sleep in this new place.  I’m always wary of new locations in Cusco spiritually speaking. 

 

 

 

Derek is finally getting to watch the iron bowl on his laptop.  He’s been careful to avoid hearing the outcome from friends and family (though I had no qualms with checking the final score myself—just to get a gauge on what he’s about to go through. Sigh.)  As he does that I’m processing the craziness of the last couple of days through writing.

 

 

 

It has definitely an exhausting couple of days, but it’s so nice to have made it this far.  It feels like we’ve gotten past some major hurtles getting our container shipped off and having moved ourselves and most of our stuff to the Airbnb.  The next couple of days we’ll be going back and forth to the other apartment to clean, hand off more stuff to people, and close up shop there.  Thankfully we’re only about a 10-minute walk away.  

 

Reflecting On Our Years in Cusco

 

We’re just over a month away from completing our time in Cusco.  I’ve found myself reflecting a lot lately about how I’ve seen the Lord at work during these 6 years here—how He’s worked around us to grow His church in Cusco, and how He’s worked in my own heart to change and mold me.  I truly feel amazement and incredible gratitude for both.

 

 

How I’ve seen God Grow the Church Here

When we arrived in Cusco, our church, Fuente de Gracia, had just been planted and there was a small group of around 40 people—primarily missionary families and Peruvian young adults meeting for worship services and Bible study gatherings.  Everything was fairly missionary led at that point with some national participation on the worship team and hospitality set-up. 

 

Since that time, it has been a joy to watch the Lord grow the church both in number and in depth of commitment to the Lord and His people. 

-       The church has expanded to include 80+ people of all different ages and stages. 

-       Peruvian men and women have stepped into significant leadership roles, working together to develop vision and strategy for set-up, sermons, children’s ministry, youth ministry, small groups, Bible studies, fellowship events, and mercy ministry.

-       Passion for meeting together and praying together has grown significantly.

-       The church family has learned to care for one another through very trying times, reaching out to one another, praying for one another, and speaking scripture to one another.

 

Just this past year, in particular, it has been an incredible delight to watch the Lord lead individuals in church through times of great uncertainty and then, after a season of walking forward by faith, He has come through with perfect solutions and answers.  He’s provided jobs, homes, locations for the church to meet, physical healing, and relational restoration.  We’ve seen bonds form between brothers and sisters in Christ where there was previously tension.  We’ve watched husbands and wives die to self, putting the other first in reliance upon the Lord, and we’ve heard testimonies shared over and over again about God’s constant goodness and faithfulness through hardship. 

 

 

We have truly received a KINGDOM WHICH CANNOT BE SHAKEN (Heb. 12:28) and He is constantly adding to the GREAT MULTITUDE STANDING BEFORE HIS THRONE (Rev. 7:9-12) and INCREASING HIS GOVERNMENT over more and more people and places (Is. 9:7).

 

 

NOW TO THE KING ETERNAL, IMMORTAL, INVISIBLE, THE ONLY GOD, BE HONOR AND GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER.  AMEN!  (1Tim 1:17)

 

 

 

How I’ve Seen God Grow and Change Me

I’ve told friends that I feel like a completely different person today from who I was when I arrived in Peru in 2015.  I could write for ages about the things that I’ve learned and ways that I’ve changed, but most significantly:

 

My view of God has changed.  I now see and experience Him much more intimately.  He’s taught me to hear from Him in ways I never did before.  He’s shown Himself to be much more of the hero and plot mover in His kingdom story—even down to the smallest details—than I ever realized. 

 

My view of the gospel and God’s kingdom has changed.  I’ve learned to see the gospel as so much bigger and greater than mere salvation.  I’ve come to truly delight in the astonishing invitation to partnership and kingdom rule that God instituted at creation.  My understanding of the kingdom of God and its presence, power, and impact has increased exponentially.  That word—kingdom—has taken on a concrete, dynamic, and incredibly consequential concept for me. 

 

My view of myself has changed.  As the Lord has taught me to delight more deeply in Him, my fear and dependence on human approval have lessened, and I’ve grown in confidence of how the Lord could and does choose to use me.  And so, I now see myself as capable of much more through the Holy Spirit’s power.  On the other hand, I’ve seen God work most mightily during my times of greatest weakness and dependence, and so I’ve also come to see myself and my efforts as much less consequential—in and of myself.  I’ve seen my sin more deeply during these years and learned to wrestle more proactively for my own sanctification.  I’ve learned to see more greatly my need of the body of Christ for that purpose as well.

 

My understanding of the role of prayer has changed significantly.  That’s a whole other blog post, but suffice to say that when I say significantly, I mean SIGNIFICANTLY.

 

My view of missionary service and ministry in general has changed significantly.  I’ve done a LOT of thinking and wrestling through my own thoughts on this topic, and last year some of it culminated in my writing an 11-page Philosophy of Ministry paper that helped Derek and I to process a lot of experiences and thoughts from our time serving with MTW thus far.  That document, which expresses our current convictions and aspirations, can be viewed here. 

 

 

 

And for those who have read this far…. Thank YOU for your role in all of the above.  I’m so thankful for the body of Christ rallying around us and our efforts and propelling these changes for the kingdom these past years.

 

 

Beautiful Interruptions

 This morning Derek was handling the homeschooling for me so that I could get out of the house and spend some time processing with the Lord.  These dates with my Savior are so life-giving and clarifying of what His heart is for me.  I’m so thankful for the way He and Derek both prioritize these times for me.

 

 

I was at Starbucks beginning to write and process some thoughts when I was interrupted by a song playing on my spotify playlist: Well Done, Good and Faithful, by Andrew Peterson. 

 

 

 

 

I had just discovered this song yesterday and added it to my playlist.  When it came on via my earbuds this morning, my mind was immediately drawn to think of a dear friend here who is suffering in the hospital.  I’ve been praying for her a lot, and this song reminded me that the suffering we endure in our physical bodies is one of God’s mysterious means of uniting us even more closely with our Savior who Himself endured suffering in submission to the Father’s good plan. 

 

Why would my Heavenly father bruise the son he loved so well?
He prayed in dark Gethsemane, "Withhold this bitter cup"
But he resigned his will to thee and drank the sorrows up

 

Our savior cried with David's grief, "In groans I waste my breath
Thy hand has brought me down beneath the bitter dust of death"
And then he gave his spirit up to trust it in your hand
His dying flesh reposed in hope, to rise at your command

Why, oh why, my God?
Why, oh why, my God?

For the joy set before him he endured
And is seated at the right hand of the throne
Well done, good and faithful, well done
Well done, good and faithful, well done
Well done good and faithful one

 

 

As the song points out, it was for the JOY set before Him that Christ endured the agony of the cross (Romans 12:2).  Yet we know from Christ’s prayer in Gethsemane that He also longed to give up that bitter cup.  What a dichotomy!  To both reel against the pain that flesh was not made to endure and simultaneously long for the beauty of submission to the Father. 

 

 

As beloved children of the same Father, we are called to be united with Christ in this dichotomy.

 

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, - Colossians 1:24

 

I found myself praying this for my friend—praying that she would identify with her Savior in her suffering, and that this unity with the Son of God would result in great joy and even gratitude in her heart. 

 

 

 

God then brought another friend to mind—one who is suffering with cancer in the United States, and I prayed these things for him and his family as well.  And as I did, I continued to question with the artist,

 

Why, oh why, my God? 

Why, oh why, my God?

 

As the beautiful response from the song played in my mind, I sensed the Holy Spirit impressing on my heart the notion that every single moment of acceptance and submission to the suffering that God permits in our lives is a beautiful representation of God’s miraculous work in our hearts and a colossal victory against the enemy’s agenda.  Our flesh cannot accept nor rest in hurt and pain, and our spirits testify to us that we were not created for it, yet in Christ the supernatural becomes possible. 

 

 

Hurt precipitates beauty

 

 

Need begets deliverance

 

 

Death creates life. 

 

 

Redemption, a concept so beautiful that God worked it into the most basic fabric of human society from the beginning, only comes to bear in the face of evil.

 

 

 

Then God had another interruption for me.  I received a phone call from a different Peruvian friend who has been sick with COVID and Pneumonia.  She called in need of encouragement as her daughter is now suffering as well, and she asked if I could bring a few groceries.  What an incredible blessing it was to me to be offered this opportunity to minister tangibly to my sister in Christ even as the Lord was already drawing my heart to pray for the comfort and spiritual renewal of those in my life who are struggling. 

 

 

As I shopped for my friend and journeyed to her house, I prayed that the Lord might use me to bless and encourage her and that He might choose to use me to represent His deep love for her.  It was such a blessing to sit with her and pray over her, and remind her of truths from God’s word.  And when she responded with great gratitude to me, it was such a joy to be able to convey that it was her heavenly Father who was loving her and that I was merely His  undeserving, yet honored messenger to her this day—for that’s what the body of Christ does.  Each member reflects to the others the love of the Father who Himself possesses and exudes all of the love that exists in the universe.

 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

 

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. – Philippians 2:1-2

 

 

I’ve spent so much time lately reading in the scriptures about the beautiful way that the body of Christ is meant to function—every member responding to the Head (Christ) and moving in unison with the others caring for those in need at times and receiving from the others at other times.  What a beautiful privilege to take part in this living, breathing, organism which is supernaturally propelled and directed by Christ Himself.

 

 

I am thankful that the Holy Spirit deemed me worthy of His interruption today.  It is truly an honor to be called upon to join my Father in ministering to His beloved children, and to be drawn into His heart for them.  

 

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and how inscrutable His ways!

 

 

Jogging for the Dream

My run with the Lord was sweet this morning.  It was torture to wake up at 6, but as usual I begged the Lord for assistance and He must have granted it because my flesh was so weak, and the bed felt SO GOOD.  I know that the comfort of my bed is nothing compared to the comfort of good reassuring conversation with my Lord, though.

 

 

As I ran, the Lord reminded me that to run a race, you have to pace yourself and commit to contentment with a slow pace, for if you sprint, you will run out of steam all to quickly and must stop—at least that’s my experience!  I rarely push myself to the point of plateauing with a steady enduring jog on these runs because I greatly prefer to go fast, and then slow to a more restful (yet brisk) walk.  The slow jog feels so wimpy, but it is the only run I can maintain for very long.  Even the jog, though, is physical torture for me.  It is so hard to push forward when you only have just barely enough strength and oxygen to continue running.  In that place, I know in my head that I have what I need to continue, but the desire to stop and walk more comfortably is overpowering.

 

 

 So the Lord impressed upon my heart, as I settled into this sort of run this morning, that the spiritual race is the same.  As much as we love to soar with wings as eagles, our race is usually not perceived to be such by us.  If we are to endure and continue the race with eyes fixed on our Lord, we must be content to jog.  Just as jogging feels like death, this slow perseverance with my King often feels like death.  Continuing to serve with broken people, in a broken place, during this unrelenting pandemic feels like death.  I know the Lord is working, and as He reminded me this morning, He turns around even our sin and failure for His kingdom purposes, but the choice to continually believe that takes such faith.  

 

 

Choosing faith always feels a little like death because it is choosing the reality no one sees.  It is choosing human foolishness.  It is completely contrary to our fleshly reasoning.

 

 

But God has asked us to keep running in that tension here.  To keep pursuing people who disappoint us over and over again.  To keep claiming victory in places of repeated failure.  To keep looking up when the drama is directly in front of us.  I truly identify with Peter walking out onto the water amid the wind and waves so often these days.  This existence makes no sense.  But God so faithfully fills us up, inspires us with the beauty of His good purposes, and encourages us by so many faithful friends who hold us up in prayer.  I know it is only because of the Lord’s mercy in calling many to labor with us in prayer that we continue to experience joy.

 

 

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.  For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.  Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.

(2 Cor. 3:18-4:1)

 

 

Jogging is completely unglamourous.  Occasionally I feel self-conscious, wondering what I look like when I jog.  Attempting to follow the Lord and walk by faith is much the same.

 

 

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.  For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 

(2 Cor. 4:7-11)

 

 

But it’s so amazing to hear from so many expressing their partnership with us in covering us in prayer.  It blows us away to hear how God is unifying many from all corners of the globe for the advance of His kingdom in Cusco.  The offensive God is waging against the enemy for ownership here cannot be denied. 

 

 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

(2 Cor 4:16-17)

 

 

Yesterday I listened to an audio recording of selections about faith and prayer from George Muller’s autobiography, and I was struck by the way that the Lord chiefly impressed on Him a burden for the growth of the Christian church, and the orphan care was secondary in His ambition.  I don’t think that I could say I feel exactly this same conviction… but I definitely see the Lord using us and our ministry here to challenge and grow the church in the US.  It’s so beautiful. 

 

 

 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to Himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 

(2 Cor. 4:13-15)

 

 

The sky was relatively clear in Cusco this morning—more so than usual, and as I ran toward the sunrise, eyes fixed on He who is transcendent to all I could see, the phrase, “I have a dream” came to mind.  I knew I would write on this later.  I do have a dream—one that did not originate with me, but one which my King set into motion ages ago and calls all of His children to embrace.

 

 

This dream is unseen, but it has infected my consciousness like a spiritual virus—a virulent strain that cannot be denied because I perceive that all parts of creation are sustained by the Word which is speaking that reality into being. 

 

 

I envision that one day we will look back and see the armies of angels who marched with us as we prayed for His kingdom.  We will stand amazed at the way principalities were thrown down by our cries for help.  We will laugh in delight at the infectious and exponential way that one prayer gave birth to millions.  We will wonder at the way our humble petitions acted as the droplets of water which grew into a tsunami when our God, like an earthquake on the ocean floor, deemed that the moment was right. 

 

 

Every failure we will one day label for the beautiful repentance and kingdom alignment it produced.  Every set back we will see as the context in which our Great Protagonist revealed His character and His pledge to flip the pot on its head, making everything sad come untrue.  Every loss will truly be considered gain.  One day our numeral system of dating will become meaningless as the memory of God’s unceasing great acts in the world, and in each of our lives, become the lens through which we view all that has ever happened.  Indeed, we are already surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses who SEE that reality unfolding and would urge us only to keep running, for Christ has done the rest.

 

 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

(2 Cor. 4:16-18)

 

- Laura

"Goodbye For Now"

 

Yesterday we said goodbye to a couple more missionary units from our team. 

 

 

As I ran with God this morning, I was thinking about all of the many "goodbyes" to teammates we’ve said over a few short years.  There are so many.  The Daniels families, the Holtons, Lauren, Sam, the Wilsons, Josey, Emily, the Scarboroughs, the Stockerts, the Duboses, and now the Pekareks and Autumn.  Many of those are people who Derek and I have really tried to pursue, invest in, and treat like family.  So many homeschool sessions and Bible study meetings with dear missionary children I may never see again. Countless coffee dates with women who have left… most likely never to return.  An abundance of play dates for Finn and Skye with friends who no longer live here.  

 

 

I was thinking about the blog post I wrote three years ago entitled, “Missionary Marriages—Not what you Think.”  This is the other side of that coin.  

 

 

In order to really function as the body of Christ with people you have to invest in them, be vulnerable with them, and pursue kingdom advancement with them like you might with a spouse, yet the nature of the mission we’re called to means that just as quickly as we unite ourselves to others, we may also be called to release them and say “goodbye, for now.” 

 

 

This is an aspect of missionary life that I think most people don’t realize.  I certainly didn’t.  Everyone thinks about the huge life transition that a missionary goes through when they uproot their family and move to another country, and of the huge learning curve and burden to settle into life in a new place and new community.  But what I think most don’t realize is that the transition is much more than a one-time thing.  You don’t just say goodbye when you get on the plan in your home country.  Many of us are forced to say goodbye to dear friends every year or two.  We quickly become like family with our missionary teammates, and then after a year or two they leave (either for an extended furlough back home, or quite often to follow the Lord’s call elsewhere).  To be a missionary in this day and age is really to adopt a lifestyle of “goodbye for now.”

 

 

This is hard—the balance of loving yet holding loosely.  Is it not one of the chief struggles of our human existence?  Yet this is exactly what Jesus Christ modeled for us.  He threw himself into deep, deep relationship with 12 men (really, it was probably quite a few more than that) who He knew He would say goodbye to after 3 short years.  Not only that, but He knew that they would be forced to say goodbye to Him.  

 

 

I think the nature of life and loss in this world can cause us to be extremely selective with who we allow into our inner circle.  Missionary life could certainly do that to you.  As much as we move and watch our friends move it can be easy to maintain walls around our hearts to protect us from the constant hurt of saying goodbye.  But I am encouraged and inspired by the example of Christ.  And so, I will try to continue pursuing and loving people, and make the most of the time I have with them.  And through it all I will endeavor to recognize the constancy of God’s Holy Spirit in them, loving me through each one, and never ever leaving me for good.

 

~ Laura

New Spanish Blog

This morning I launched a new blog--this time in español!  

 

This past year many different projects and occurrences converged for me and resulted in my desire to start a Spanish blog addressed to the people of Cusco.  I shall try to share these things as I experienced them chronologically, however they all overlapped with each other as well.

 

1.     As I worked on the DPI project with MTW developing curriculum goals for onboarding missionaries it eventually became clear to me that a larger, unifying narrative around the gospel and our mission was needed to unify and clarify what we are all about at MTW.  As I sought to hear from the Lord about this I spoke with many different leaders from around the organization, listened to audio and video recordings which seemed to speak to this need for a unifying story, and I combed through literature which had been written and/or used by MTW leaders over the years. 

 

The word that kept popping up, and the ideology which seemed best to encompass everything the Lord was leading us to was Kingdom.  The kingdom metanarrative seemed to be one that could explain what we believe about the world, God, ourselves, and our mission.  So I threw myself into the kingdom metanarrative seeking to understand it better.  I spent hours combing the scriptures, I read articles, listened to podcasts, read books, and engaged in much discussion around the topic with my DPI subteam.  As a result, I became enthralled with the kingdom metanarrative.  My delight in the good news and my conviction that it really is good news—grew immensely.

 

2.     Derek and I watched a video series put out by Focus on the Family that challenged me regarding God’s heart for the nations, and the profound way that Jesus and Paul contextualized the gospel message for their audience.

 

3.     I was working on putting together our virtual prayer journey for Cusco, and as I worked through how to communicate the spiritual landscape here, my own burden for the people of Cusco increased. 

 

4.     I attended a Christian education conference which, through its focus on racial reconciliation, challenged me to see the way the gospel honors people of all cultures uniquely, and how important it is for us as witnesses to the gospel to honor different peoples in the way we present the gospel.  It is not a white American gospel.  It is good news for all people.  And in fact, we as Americans received the gospel rather late.  Other cultures played significant roles in the birth and spread of the gospel from the very beginning.  As we share the gospel we cannot act like we are bringing our message, but merely sharing that which did not originate with us, and that for which we are extremely grateful recipients.

I was challenged, through this conference, to see that the way we view our reception of the gospel and our participation in the gospel story really matters.  God honors humanity over and over again in the Biblical story, and treats us not as unworthy beggars, but as honored participants and key players in His story.  We must also see those we minister to in this light, and seek to honor people as our heavenly Father does.

 

5.     Many of the speakers at the Christian education conference referenced Augustine’s writing and influence on the church and its interaction with the gospel message over the years, so I decided to investigate the man myself.  I began reading his Confessions, because I had heard this work was a good entryway into understanding him and his writing.  As I read the introduction to the book, however, one statement by the editor really jumped off the page and struck me as significant.  The claim was made that Augustine and the apostle Paul were arguably the two single most influential Christian leaders in the early days of the church and, in the editor’s opinion, this was largely due to the way each of them shared the gospel through the lens of their own lives and experiences.  They put flesh and bones on the gospel by the way they applied it to their own lives and shared this broadly through their writings.

 

As always, I processed all of these different experiences and ideas through writing, and a letter conveying my heart’s desire for the people of Cusco resulted.  I wasn’t sure at first what to do with it.  For one, it was written in English.  But I also wasn’t sure whether a blog would even be something that would interest the people of Cusco—not to mention my message.  But as I prayed over the idea, and time passed the notion kept popping back up. 

 

Since returning to Cusco, the Lord has graciously provided a couple of dear Peruvian women—sisters in the faith—to help me with this project.  They have been immensely helpful and encouraging, reassuring me that my message will be well received by the women of our church.  So, that is my immediate goal—to encourage the hearts of the saints and remind them of how good the gospel is.  

 

The new blog can be found here, though I think I'm going to begin sharing the English version of my posts here as well--for those who may be interested in my message for the people of Cusco.

 

- Laura

Morning Glories

 

On one of my prayer walks this week these morning glories caught my eye, and I was reminded of some of the beautiful similarities between the life of the believer and that of the morning glory.  I love it when God uses creation to remind me of truth I need in that moment!

Morning Glories    -       They don’t thrive in overly rich soil, which produces lush, beautiful foliage at the expense of blooms.   -       They love full sunlight, and if the plant is young enough a transplant to a more sunny location can make all the difference.   -       Each flower blooms only once and dies the same day.     -       A combination of light and temperature signals trigger the flower to open at a set time via a biological clock so powerful that, once set by the natural day/night cycle, they will bloom on cue even in a dark closet.   -       The plant dilates in the morning as water fills their veins.  This water action becomes pronounced as the day progresses until the flower is unable to maintain the water content and it droops and withers.   -       Though morning glories bloom for an incredibly short time period, it is exactly the time frame during which their pollinators are most active.

The Child of God:   -       Often shines brightest in seasons of struggle.  Too much comfort and we fail to bear fruit.   -       The more time with our Father the better—even if it means some major upheaval to attain it.     -       Our lives are incredibly short—but a breath.     -       If we are regularly feeding through time with the Lord we will bloom and yield fruit even in the darkest places.           -       If we continue to feed on the Vine, we grow closer and closer to the Father, shining brighter as we near our return home.       -       Though our life span is short, it is timed perfectly for God’s purpose in us—a purpose that involves our own growth as well as that of others.

Sanctification and the Disciplines of Grace

 I've been asked to sub in for someone on a panel at one of MTW's Living In Grace conferences next week.  I was looking over the list of potential questions, and I really am excited to get to hear the other panelists responses!  I'm also really encouraged to know that the new missionaries in training who attend this retreat are getting to grapple with these kinds of ideas!  The questions are so good, I felt drawn to spend some time mulling over my own thoughts about each of them.  They're such challenging things to think about. 

Sanctification and Disciplines of Grace/Suggested panel questions

 

1. What do you see as the relationship between personal holiness and self-discipline? Someone said, “Before you can advance in personal holiness you must have self-discipline.” What you think about that statement?

 

It’s been observed about humanity that 99.9% of what we do, is done out of habit. I think God made us this way, and it’s a beautiful thing because as long as we are intentional and disciplined about forming habits that sanctify us, the growth will continue to continue by default. Things like praying all day long, recognizing all interruptions as from Him, and celebrating His attentiveness to us become second nature once we’ve cultivated them as habits. The cool thing is that because of the mysterious way that the Holy Spirit works in our lives, prompting us toward growth, motivating us to work at it, and then empowering us to follow through, the whole process of sanctification is initiated by Him and continues by Him. Our role is merely to respond in faith, taking the next step toward obedience to the Spirit, even if we don’t see where the motivation or empowerment will come from for the following one.

 

2. What then is the role of the law for Christians? 

It helps me to think about the law as wedding vows. When I stood before my husband I voluntarily committed to show my love for Him through doing x, y, and z. I continue to demonstrate my love for my husband both to him and before the watching world through fulfilling those vows. My fulfillment of those vows are not what make me married to my husband, but they are how I proclaim my marriage in practice. My husband knew me to be a sinner when he married me, and by God’s grace I trust that he would remain married to me even if I were to break my vow to him—though it would certainly put a serious strain on our relationship and my repentance would be absolutely vital.

When I accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord of my life, I was effectively committing to submit to Him in all things. By submitting to Him in all things I both demonstrate my love to Him personally and also demonstrate my love for Him to the world. My obedience to the law is not the basis on which I am betrothed to Christ, but it is the way I proclaim my love and commitment to the relationship in practice. When my divine groom chose me, He knew me to be a sinner, and knew that I would repeatedly demonstrate disloyalty to Him by breaking the law, so He preemptively atoned for my infidelity and also gave me the gift of the Holy Spirit so that I am empowered to keep running back to Him and slowly become more and more faithful.

3. What practices have you found personally helpful in helping to keep you faithful and consistent in your walk with Christ.

Many years ago I cultivated two habits that have stuck with me: spending time in God’s word and prayer first thing in the morning, and also talking with God as I fall asleep at night. I think though my growth has been very slow at times, these practices have kept me aware of my need of Him. Another practice that I began as a teenager is journaling. For me, journaling has become a really spiritual and sanctifying thing. When I write, I discover truths about myself and about the ways God is working on me. I talk to God in my writing and He speaks back in my thoughts, putting scriptures on my mind. This practice really helps me refocus my heart and be intentional about the growth God is nudging me toward.

In the past couple of years by God’s grace I’ve worked to cultivate some other practices that have greatly bolstered my faith and daily delight in God. I do a weekly prayer run in which I worship and pray while I go for a run outdoors. This practice started as an effort to get in shape after having my daughter, but it quickly turned into my most joyous 20 minutes of the week and it as instigated a lot more awareness of God's affection and intention toward me.

Also I’ve been working to cultivate a more constant awareness of God’s presence throughout the day and constant conversation with Him as I go about my daily tasks. This is something that I’m still working on and because it isn’t as cut and dry as going for a run on Mondays I think it’s been a slower, more gradual habit for me to form. I’ve seen so much progress, though—it’s really cool!

Lastly, our family has been working to cultivate the habit of worshiping together. We’ve just started this this year—Covid has been so good for us in so many ways. We learn a new song each month and come up with hand motions for it together. We have a little devotional book we read together, and then we talk about how we’ve seen God during the day. This has been a really special time and it really has grown our delight in God together. 

4. What tools have you found helpful? 

I love the PrayerMate App for praying strategically. I always have my prayer list with me in my phone, and it makes it easy to keep notes about how to pray for each item as well as scripture verses to pray for each one.

The Getty Family Worship videos helped us get going and develop a simple model for family worship, though at this point we have made it our own and no longer use their videos.

Earbuds—one of my all-time favorite inventions. When I run, I’m able to participate with all of creation in the worship that my ears can’t otherwise pick up on. It’s really enrapturing!

 

5. We are to bring every thought, word, and deed captive to the obedience of Christ. How do you do that exactly?

I think learning to practice God’s presence every moment of the day is a big step in the right direction—constant prayer. I also think that clinging outlandishly to our theology and choosing to receive all things as part of God’s good plan—refusing to consider any inconvenience or hardship as a mere happenstance--can position us to respond correctly more often to the various forces that might otherwise trigger us to sin.

 

6. Have you ever been in a situation, or season of your life where you found yourself seeking personal holiness through the sheer exercise of your own will? What resulted from that, and what did you learn from that?

Since I was a little girl I’ve been told that pride was one of my besetting sins. I’ve always wrestled with the idea that being more spiritually oriented is a two-sided coin because with each spiritual victory I become aware of my own victory and thus solidify my own pride even more. For a very long time I sought to counteract this by minimizing my victories and refusing to speak about them with others. At every opportunity I was quick to confess my sin and struggles, but I was much slower to share personal growth with others because I didn’t want to become more prideful myself in sharing it.

Then one day I shared all of this with one of my mentors, and she made the observation that this practice must make it hard for me to celebrate my own victories. I realized that I probably needed to grow in my understanding of pride and humility, so I began praying about this, asking God to reveal truth to me about pride and humility. I listened to sermons and asked a few people close to me to pray for my growth in and better understanding of humility. And God answered my prayers! He did this through a variety of ways—partially through a group Bible study, partially through a Disney movie, and partially through giving me such deep delight in God’s attentiveness to me that I couldn’t bear not to share it.

My biggest take away from the experience is that if you feel like you’re running up against a wall in your walk with the Lord, don’t accept defeat, and don’t keep running at it the same way if that way isn’t working. Ask boldly for what you want and ask others to pray for growth too, and then expect God to respond and look for His answer. 

 

7. Sometimes we have a sense that we are in a good place in terms of moving forward in our sanctification. Other times we are aware that something is off. What do you look for in your own life when you make that assessment?

I think our emotions are one of the most apparent ways God attempts to get our attention. He may not speak audibly to us to say that something’s up, but He’s created us to become sad, mad, frustrated, and apprehensive when something isn’t as it should be within us. When I’m feeling frustrated or generally discontent, I know that I need to spend some time with God to figure out what’s going on. For me, writing really helps me to get to the bottom of what is triggering my emotions, and then I’m able to look at how God’s word addresses my situation, and prayerfully seek repentance if it's needed, or seek empowerment and boldness to do whatever needs to be done in order to return to peace, joy, and right standing before God.

 

8. What consequences have you observed in your fields of ministry when there hasn’t been significant growth in sanctification? Is there anything you might do differently that might’ve been helpful in those situations?

When you aren’t being intentional about growth in your walk with God, you’ll quickly find yourself running after your idols. Just as a body of water is only pure and life-giving as long as it is ultimately running toward the sea but stagnant pools quickly become filthy and poisonous, Christians are made for growth and without growing we will never be satisfied.

I think for a lot of us in full time ministry this general dissatisfaction due to stagnation can make us look to our ministries for fulfillment. This often leads us to work harder and harder to accomplish or produce ministry fruit in our own power. Ministry success is a huge idol that cannot satisfy us like intimacy with God can. Sanctification must be more important to us than our ministries.

I think sometimes God allows us to be frustrated in our ministry so that we will recognize when we’re trying to find our joy there rather than in Him. Sometimes God even completely removes us from ministry one way or another in order to remind us where true fulfillment lies. In my own life God has used pregnancy to do this for an extended season. God’s commitment to each one of us is so deep that He’s completely willing to sacrifice our ministries for our own good if that’s what it will take to make us find our identity and fulfillment in Him. We must also be willing to make sacrifices for the sake of pursuing sanctification.

 

- Laura