Reflecting On Our Years in Cusco

 

We’re just over a month away from completing our time in Cusco.  I’ve found myself reflecting a lot lately about how I’ve seen the Lord at work during these 6 years here—how He’s worked around us to grow His church in Cusco, and how He’s worked in my own heart to change and mold me.  I truly feel amazement and incredible gratitude for both.

 

 

How I’ve seen God Grow the Church Here

When we arrived in Cusco, our church, Fuente de Gracia, had just been planted and there was a small group of around 40 people—primarily missionary families and Peruvian young adults meeting for worship services and Bible study gatherings.  Everything was fairly missionary led at that point with some national participation on the worship team and hospitality set-up. 

 

Since that time, it has been a joy to watch the Lord grow the church both in number and in depth of commitment to the Lord and His people. 

-       The church has expanded to include 80+ people of all different ages and stages. 

-       Peruvian men and women have stepped into significant leadership roles, working together to develop vision and strategy for set-up, sermons, children’s ministry, youth ministry, small groups, Bible studies, fellowship events, and mercy ministry.

-       Passion for meeting together and praying together has grown significantly.

-       The church family has learned to care for one another through very trying times, reaching out to one another, praying for one another, and speaking scripture to one another.

 

Just this past year, in particular, it has been an incredible delight to watch the Lord lead individuals in church through times of great uncertainty and then, after a season of walking forward by faith, He has come through with perfect solutions and answers.  He’s provided jobs, homes, locations for the church to meet, physical healing, and relational restoration.  We’ve seen bonds form between brothers and sisters in Christ where there was previously tension.  We’ve watched husbands and wives die to self, putting the other first in reliance upon the Lord, and we’ve heard testimonies shared over and over again about God’s constant goodness and faithfulness through hardship. 

 

 

We have truly received a KINGDOM WHICH CANNOT BE SHAKEN (Heb. 12:28) and He is constantly adding to the GREAT MULTITUDE STANDING BEFORE HIS THRONE (Rev. 7:9-12) and INCREASING HIS GOVERNMENT over more and more people and places (Is. 9:7).

 

 

NOW TO THE KING ETERNAL, IMMORTAL, INVISIBLE, THE ONLY GOD, BE HONOR AND GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER.  AMEN!  (1Tim 1:17)

 

 

 

How I’ve Seen God Grow and Change Me

I’ve told friends that I feel like a completely different person today from who I was when I arrived in Peru in 2015.  I could write for ages about the things that I’ve learned and ways that I’ve changed, but most significantly:

 

My view of God has changed.  I now see and experience Him much more intimately.  He’s taught me to hear from Him in ways I never did before.  He’s shown Himself to be much more of the hero and plot mover in His kingdom story—even down to the smallest details—than I ever realized. 

 

My view of the gospel and God’s kingdom has changed.  I’ve learned to see the gospel as so much bigger and greater than mere salvation.  I’ve come to truly delight in the astonishing invitation to partnership and kingdom rule that God instituted at creation.  My understanding of the kingdom of God and its presence, power, and impact has increased exponentially.  That word—kingdom—has taken on a concrete, dynamic, and incredibly consequential concept for me. 

 

My view of myself has changed.  As the Lord has taught me to delight more deeply in Him, my fear and dependence on human approval have lessened, and I’ve grown in confidence of how the Lord could and does choose to use me.  And so, I now see myself as capable of much more through the Holy Spirit’s power.  On the other hand, I’ve seen God work most mightily during my times of greatest weakness and dependence, and so I’ve also come to see myself and my efforts as much less consequential—in and of myself.  I’ve seen my sin more deeply during these years and learned to wrestle more proactively for my own sanctification.  I’ve learned to see more greatly my need of the body of Christ for that purpose as well.

 

My understanding of the role of prayer has changed significantly.  That’s a whole other blog post, but suffice to say that when I say significantly, I mean SIGNIFICANTLY.

 

My view of missionary service and ministry in general has changed significantly.  I’ve done a LOT of thinking and wrestling through my own thoughts on this topic, and last year some of it culminated in my writing an 11-page Philosophy of Ministry paper that helped Derek and I to process a lot of experiences and thoughts from our time serving with MTW thus far.  That document, which expresses our current convictions and aspirations, can be viewed here. 

 

 

 

And for those who have read this far…. Thank YOU for your role in all of the above.  I’m so thankful for the body of Christ rallying around us and our efforts and propelling these changes for the kingdom these past years.

 

 

Spanish Blog: Learning to be Real

 *Click here to read the story behind my Spanish Blog  

 

 

Have you ever felt like you are wearing an invisible mask and no one really sees the real you?  I realize that today, in 2021, we are all wearing masks due to COVID.  But what I am referring to is putting up a front so that people will see only what you want them to see in your personality. 

 

 

During my second year of college I came to the realization, one day, that I was presenting the world with a version of myself that wasn’t completely honest. 

 

 

How did I arrive at this realization?

 

 

The Lord used two good friends in my life.  One of these friends was willing to confront me and ask me difficult questions about myself.  She expressed to me that she wanted to know me—the real me—but that it felt like I wasn’t willing to be real and vulnerable with her.  This was a very challenging and surprising message for me to receive.  It shook me a bit.  I had never had a friend before who was willing to poke that much at my personality.  The other friend who the Lord used was available right at the time when I needed someone to process these things.  She listened, encouraged, and walked with me through my need for growth.  I’m thankful to the Lord for both of these friends and the way that He used them to help me see myself more objectively.

 

 

What was I trying to hide?

 

 

I think that as I had grown up in the church and been taught to exemplify Christ in my interactions with people, I learned, over time, that it was important to appear “good” to others.  I wanted not only to be liked and approved of, but I wanted the people in my life to have no reason to doubt my virtue.  The problem with this was that I was a fallen, sinful human just like everyone else in the world, and keeping that part of me hidden had created a barrier between me and other people.  I was allowing the world to see the person that I wanted to be and not the person that I really was.

 

 

This was a complicated concept for me to discover, because on the one hand, we are called to put on the characteristics of Christ.

 

 

“…put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,  and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”  Ephesians 4:22-24

 

 

On the other hand, however, the way that God has decided to grow us to become more like His son is through being honest with each other about our struggles.

 

 

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”  James 5:16

 

 

 

Now, I don’t think the Lord expects us to share our struggles and sins with everyone in the world.  I think it takes discernment and faith to discover the people whom God has provided in your life to walk with you in your own growth and mortification of sin.  And of course we will not be able to find these people if we are not putting ourselves in community with a family of believers. 

 

 

Occasionally the Lord may send you someone like my bold friend who pursues your heart relentlessly, but more often He will simply put a deep longing in your heart to be known. And when that longing burns within you, you will ask the Lord your Father to provide you with a community.  And you may be tempted to stop there, but the prayer of faith is one which is followed by action, so by faith we must risk being hurt by other people and ask for the privilege of being genuine—of removing the mask and being honest about struggles. 

 

 

Of course making a move like that is quite scary the first time you do it.  It certainly was for me.  But the promises of scripture assure us that we can trust God to protect and care for us even in moments of great vulnerability.

 

 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”  2 Corinthians 12:9

 

 

"Be strong and courageous ... The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  Deuteronomy 31:7-8

 

 

 

This was somewhat a turning point for me relationally.  Both of my friends were very patient with me and they taught me a lot through their good examples of friendship and their gentle boldness in drawing me out.  I continue to journey with the Lord in navigating how to be honest and vulnerable in relationships.  I do think that overall it has gotten much easier over time.  Though I’ve also continued to experience the effects of the fall in relationships as well.  Sometimes I fail others and sometimes they fail me.  But praise be to God, He never fails us and always works on us to make us more and more like His perfect son.

 

 

Spanish Blog: Conflict and Peace

 *Click here to read the story behind my Spanish Blog 

Shortly after my eighteenth birthday I moved into a dormitory at a Christian college about a 3-hour drive from my parent’s home.  The school had arranged a roommate for me, and I was so excited.  I had been looking forward to this for a long time, praying fervently that my roommate and I would become fast friends.  I was determined to be the best roommate I could be- sensitive, caring, and constant in prayer for her.   I was desperate for someone whom I could really share my heart with and come to know on a deeper level.

 

 

Things didn’t work out like I had hoped, however.  After moving in with my roommate we quickly discovered that we were very different people with different social habits and needs.  I tried to be kind and caring, but by the midterm break I was miserable and incredibly lonely.  I felt hurt in some ways by my roommate, but I didn’t know what to do about it.  I didn’t want to talk about the situation to anyone else because I thought that would be gossip and wrong.  I tried to bear up under the struggle and place it in God’s hands, but while I was home for Fall break I broke down in tears and my parents found out about the struggle.

 

 

My parents encouraged me to have a talk with my roommate about the way I felt, and then seek a different living situation.  I followed their advice.  My conversation with my roommate was one of the hardest I’d ever had in my life.  I naturally run from conflict, and yet as my parents had pointed out, loving another person sometimes means being honest with them when you are hurt.

 

 

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15

 

 

I realize now that there are some circumstances in which it is not safe or wise for an individual to confront someone who has wronged them alone like that, however between brothers in Christ the Lord often uses conflict to grow His children both in relationship with Him and with each other.  I learned a lot about relationships during my time in college.  The Lord granted me wonderful, dear friends who would encourage me and spur me on in my walk with the Lord, and He also provided challenging relationships which brought me to my knees before the Lord, growing in me a greater dependence on Him.  Through it all He was always a faithful Father and Friend to me Himself.

 

 

After that first difficult relationship with my roommate I recalled the conflict I had worked through with Molly five years earlier, and I realized that in many ways God had used that conflict to prepare me for this one.  In fact, I can now look back and see that not only did God prepare me to walk through that trial with my roommate, but He also used it to prepare me for future trials that He would bring my way. 

 

 

God never brings a challenge to His child for which He has not adequately prepared them.

 

 

 ^“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence.”  2 Peter 1:3

 

 

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

 

 

To this day conflict is a thing that I would love to avoid at all costs.  Yet I have learned that true peace often comes only by facing conflict in love and honesty.  Jesus Christ Himself demonstrated a commitment to walk into conflict over and over again for the sake of pursuing righteousness, and so with Christ we must be willing to walk through the conflict He leads us to—putting on Christ as we go, and allowing His love to define us as we speak and as we listen.